Intersections and the anticipating eye...aka Civilization and its Malcontents...aka We go but to return, or so we think...

Long Post with about two lines related to Pokah. Lots of introspective navel-gazing however, so if voyeurism turns your crank – welcome aboard.

Apologies for an absence made necessary as I approached the merge point of this truly unique season and that of the life I know better. I actually hesitate to put this up on a Friday when no one will likely be around to read it, but Monday is Day 1 of the return of my white coat, and I didn’t want to risk losing an ending for a beginning.

To address a hopefully rhetorical question: It is not quite yet time to clear the slate on Flights. I happen to [man]love this space and the good, good things that have come my way since creating it. Yeah mostly I mean the phat, phat roll, but I suppose I also mean all of you bastahds I will be drinkin’ my huge ass off with in just a few weeks. So no matter how busy I get, I will still be posting here with greater regularity than I demonstrated in this last stretch. Forewarned is forearmed, no?

The days since my last post have been somewhat uneven ones, but happily illumination has been at hand when the footing was most uncertain. The days are pressed now in my mind as a microcosm of the entirety of my time off, and the recounting of them seems worthwhile only because years from now I know I will wonder at my mindset during the transition back to my other life.

Where to start? Naturally, with a thanks giving.

What more would I need to feel thankful for than the arrival of my NYS license and a 14k Thank You for Playing at Full Tilt Poker? It turned out that Fate had rewards richer by far in store right around the bend. The week began with reunions new and old when Bandy, a long lost brother I met on a glorified tugboat in the South Pacific off the coast of Chile in 2001 reentered my life with a wave and an email. He was heading down to Baja for weeks of surfing and living like a hermit, and happily his trail would take him through Cleveland. In addition, smokkee and the Elf were in town and wanted to get together.

Now I’ve never written about my winter in Chile, but it remains a keystone memory. Having completed a medical mission in Santiago ahead of schedule, I picked up my stuff, shoved it in my pack and began heading south with no clearer goal than “I’d like to see Tierra Del Fuego.” What followed was thumbed rides, luxe buses and a trip aboard the Navimag – a cargo ship with an oscillating run connecting the very south of Chile to the heartland. It crossed over the open Pacific at the Gulf of Sorrows and it was during that harrowing, vomit-inducing stretch of sea that the only four Canucks on the boat found themselves serendipitously at the same dinner table – downing Pisco sours we knew we’d be viewing again in short course. There, thousands of kilometers from home, four guys who were traveling independently met for the first time despite having grown up no more than forty minutes apart in that most cosmopolitan of centres: Toronto. We ended up hiking Torres del Paine National Park together before heading down as south as we could go, crossing the Straits of Magellan and coming to rest in Ushuaia, El Fin del Mundo. A warm and rewarding moon rose over the city that night and as we drank to it, I was reminded just what it is about chance encounters I enjoy so much. Yes, most are laughable misses. But the hits run truly and meaningfully through the rest of the run.

So it was with a smiling nostalgia I awaited Bandy, and with a shinier eagerness I looked forward to introducing U to smokkee and the Elf who were in Cleveland enjoying Buckeye dominance and paying respects to recent arrivals. Before I can say anything about the goot time that was dinner, I have to note that I botched up this blogger get-together mightily. Hacker was ready, willing and able to join us that night and would have if not for my disorganization and inconsideration that day. Though entitled to be permanently riled at me for that, Hacker as usual, chose the nobler sentiment and gave me a pass on my gaffe. As some of you have noted before, I tend to use this space to obsess on my errors as much as anything else. I likely picked that habit up during training, because it applies to everything I do, not just my game. It’s the untidied and loose ends that occupy my thoughts, and messing that meet up still bothers me. Perhaps writing it down makes it easier for me to compartmentalize. Accent on “mental”, no doubt...

Dinner itself could have been an example of worlds colliding awkwardly as Bandy came aground just in time for dinner with smokkee and Elf. And yet, at least from my vantage, it was a great time. I can definitively say that since U has met some of my bloggah kin, she has grown far more accomodating about the whole pokah scene. It was great because I got the chance to reconnect with an old friend and simultaneously introduce U to my new ones. And of course I finally got the chance to give smokkee some serious shit on behalf of Hoy and Don and I that we owed him since our first get together at the MGM café last summer. You guys know what I mean. Needless to say he just laughed his ass off and smiled that smokkee smile. Kinda like Ray Charles with an OC tan…

So there were certainly things to be thankful for – and I have been enjoying feeling thankful for many days since. But there has also been a fair bit of anxiety as I prepare to change gears.

For the last few days, I’ve been acting like a grownup and I forgot how much that can suck. We signed papers on the house, but got official word it won’t be done until June 30, 2007. I wouldn’t care except that I start work on December 4 20006. What we decided to do, after turning it over again and again is to leave U and the munchkins in Cleveland until the house is done. I found a pretty chic loft in the renovated downtown to take me through the next seven months. I can actually walk to either of my two main hospitals, which should be pretty nice. I also bought a battle-ready Nissan Exterra to get me through the Buffalo snow. Black on black because I am a badass – thank you for noticing. Okay, okay I did puss out and get heated seats, and yeah, somewhere my PeeWee hockey coach is shuddering in shame. But I’m still a badass.

A badass who in the span of about three days has committed himself to a fairly big chunk of debt. Since I am generally a guy who likes to make money before spending it, this doesn’t sit great with me philosophically, but it is what it is. A modern problem.

Now I sit in Toronto preparing to head out early tomorrow, and what has me a little freaked out is the impending separation. It was my idea, and one that seemed the logical solution to our dilemma. But now that it’s upon us I find myself loathing it in anticipation. I just can’t believe I am about to go from being fully immersed in every moment of my kids’ lives – from the odiferously banal to those reliably sublime moments of curiosity and insight - to being a guy they only see on the weekends at best. I also can’t believe I am leaving my girl to fend for herself in Cleveland while I start this thing on my own. Those of you who’ve met her know that she’ll be fine – she’s amazing, resourceful and more than up to the challenge. It just isn't my style to leave her hanging, and yeah; I am going to miss them all. A lot. Seven months does not sound like one of those time periods that just “flies by”.

Just another modern problem with its unevenly modern solution.

Laytah.

Mmmmmm? Two lines of pokah content? I am 0/7 on Tier 3’s and 0/9 on Tier 2’s since the FTOPS final table. I was dominaytin those biotches too prior to this streak, so I'm a little cheefed. I am playing reasonably well too, just running into coolah aftah coolah. Mr. Second Best Hand. When I get back tomorrow I will play the 16k fa shure as I greedily try for one last score before work cuts my hours down. Real life…sheeeesh!

Into a dream of bigger dreams

EDIT: BIG GAME tonight. Hope you can make it, because I honestly think it's the toughest game our gang plays. I'll be there, and if you're looking for it you can search for me - I'm already enrolled. Sorry I haven't been pimping it enough this week - between feeling ridiculously sorry for myself earlier in the week, then gloating like a mothafuckah, I let this slip. Sunday - 9:30pm Password: Donkey. Think you've got what it takes to bring down Captain Lucksac? Come find out. Besides - The Good Doctor is playing - how much more High Profile can this thing get?
_____________________________________

Well it turns out I'm kind of updating as the day goes along...

Just want to start with a thanks everyone for taking the time to stop by the last post. And thanks in particular to mah boyz Hoy and Fuel for recapping my run - that was seriously cool of both of you. It's clear I know how to keep good company. And just in case anyone is under any illusion I don't know how lucky I got, let me assure you - I know.

But enough looking back for me. Under the heading of Playing Your Rushes, I have figured out my next goal for the MWGB: I want to cash the FTOPS ME.

[Insert your quietly incredulous chuckles here.]

Moreover, I want to get in cheap. Yeah, yeah...what can I say...now I'm a bankroll guy. So sue me.

First try I donked a 75er single table SNG, that only cost me about 30 bucks to play since I double tokened it. I busted 4th on a rivering, but you won't find me complaining about beats here for at least a month.

At Least.

Actually it was poor game selection on my part. I do better when multiple seats are available - I'm a finish 4th kinda guy I guess, and that's fine by me. So then I found out there is a 30 seat guarantee $109 MTT tomorrow afternoon before the ME. Then I found a satellite to that $109 that would only dent my new found mountain by 15 bucks.

I am running goot. No question. I am winning races regularly. I am sucking out when someone looks me up with a monster. And best of all, that sense that things are going to go my way has really made me bolder when I have a stack. Lastly, and I still can't quite believe this part, but people at my tables in this tournament and the other tokens I played yesterday actually recognized me from FTOPS. Those who checked pokerdb on me were commenting on it and giving me a wide berth and plenty of respect. High-fucking-larious.

If this heatah can just last through tomorrow, get me an ME seat on the ultracheap (less than 50 bucks total spent) and see me to a 150th place finish - that would be very fucking cool.

It most probably won't work out that way, but that's how I see it in my head tonight.

Laytah.

2:45 EDIT: Well that was quick. Microvariance - ie. good ole fashion horrible fucking luck - is a bitch. 544 runners and I AM OUT FOURTH!!!! There were a hundred + seats. What went wrong? Open with Presto 3x in MP - two callers. Flop is 533. Check it to LP who bets 700. I put him and his two jacks all-in. Sigh. Rivah not goot. Can't do much better than having him drawing to two outs with two cards to come. Maybe I'll putz around and see if anything else is available. So far only spent about 45 bucks on this. I am not buying direct - not after the universe just told me in no uncertain terms it feels its done me enough solids for the week.

5pm EDIT: FTOPS MAIN EVENT here I come. Decided to give the $109 Turbo satellite a shot. 112 runners, 20 seats. Got up to T6800 and after some discussion with Waffles decided I could very likely fold to the seat assuming I got one steal in. That proved fucking frightful, but just when I thought this was going to explode in my face, the table gave my BB a walk. After that it was a little nerve racking (I was down to T750 with 2k/1k blinds 250 ante or some such evil), but just in time the even shortiers got killed off. Never played it like that, folding 88 and AT on the calculations that the ground beneath me would give but not drop me into the abyss.

Got an hour to eat, then it's on to turn my $145 buy-in into something goot hopefully.

9:15pm Edit: Busted in the FTOPS ME. 647th out of 2449. Wes outlasted me by one spot. lucko is still going strong (contain your shock). I 100% blame steve-o. The guy is bad juju for me. Every time he shows weird and horrible things happen to me. Why steve? Why? I asked you to stay away....why did you kill me?

Er...maybe it was me...Truthfully I can't complain - no horrid beats or anything. I thought I played a solid game, but got truly cold decked for the first time in ages (why is it I don't hear you feeling sorry for me?). Tried a few moves, got looked up every time. I won one race to gasp for air, then lost another in the reversed situation. That seemed fair.

No worries. My first 535 and I think I acquited myself honorably. Back down to the 75s and 109s where I likely am still a little light for the weight class.

11:00 Edit: Lucko and the Gnome had great runs in the ME finishing the 100's and cashing for about a G. Nice Work Gents, wish I could have joined you in that impressive feat. Lucko running with a big stack got royally screwed multiple times in front of all of us, including two dominated beats and once running 88 into a BB special KK. He put a clinic on in how to take adversity like a man. To say I was rootin' hard for you is a major understatement. Next time, no doubt. BTW WTF is +1?

Me sleepy. Me bust 11th in the Big Game. Only consolation was smacking smokkee around somefink fierce. I think I am burned out a little and have decided to take a few days off online play. The good news is that Smokke and The Elf are coming up my way and he and I will no doubt tear up an MTT with Hacker - cmon Hack Wednesday = Pokah with the boyz. Put your foot down time, brotha!

Laytah (this time for real).

Imperfect but more than acceptable...aka Many Mistakes but The Captain earns his title...aka Finding that Elusive Score

Quick Edit: Thanks to lucko and smokkee for directing me to this. My final table play is reviewed in CardPlayer! Yeah, ok, not all that favorably, but so the fuck what! I can honestly say my online poker life and pokerblog have far exceeded my wildest expectations. Who knows where (if anywhere) we go from here.

I have no real understanding of the perfect storm of suckouts, decent reads and nice looking hands that coallesced and resulted in this. I am truly a little amazed, because all I can recall are the many errors I made along the way: trying to steal blinds holding 46c against a super-shortstack who HAD to call with anything! [fuck did I look like an idiot], folding 77 when I meant to resteal because I timed out trying to calculate the bet size, playing very low pairs from very EP when I know my game does not have me calling the huge reraises that inevitably follow. Showed cards when there was no logical role for image [and despite smokkee pleading with me for about a month to cut that shit out]. Let my M dwindle way too low a couple of times looking for my spot when it was clear I was playing too tight for my stack.

You get the idea: fourth = Puhlenty of room for improvement.

Aside from that, I managed to get my money in bad (dominated bad twice) on several pushes, and managed to suckout to keep going. I actually like my push in each of those situations but ran into a lot of optimistic AJs who were soundly taught why that hand can break your heart in about a hundred different ways.

ATo on the other hand is gold.

If you were predisposed to be a crank about it, you could use this finish as evidence MTTs don't measure skill so much as act as a late night donkey census. The 4th last quadraped standing was given 12k for his efforts last night.

He's pretty happy about it.

And all self-deprecation aside - it feels great. My confidence in my MTT game is very, very strong. It has been evolving nonstop for months and hopefully will continue to do so, owing along the way more than a little debt to the people who stop by here and share their insights.

I want everyone to know I am genuinely appreciative of the amazing support I received during this hobgoblin of a run.

Waffles, lucko, smokkee, D, Jo, JJ, Mookie, Michael, Mike, Fastpitch - it was truly helpful and totally standup of you guys. One unknown observer started cheering for me because, in his estimation, if this many people wished me well I must be an ok guy. I hope he's right. On the other hand, another observer was intent on ejaculating on my virtual breasts.

Aren't we all?

Anyway I hope I get the chance to do the same for each of you [rail you, not the other thing] in short order. It should come as no shock to anyone who reads this that I am trying to move my game (esp. my endgame) closer to smokkee and lucko's. I am far from achieving that goal, but I do feel progress is being made.

Fuel, you're timely insights were lifesaving. Looking forward to partying like the aging rockstars we clearly are when we hit Vegas next month.

And lastly, I have to say a special thank you to a guy I am constantly pointing to as my big inspiration. The HammahPlayah was busy making the money in this thing too, but took time to keep me off mega-tilt when I took a riverflush up the ass in the midgame. After he exited playing his own bold style of chip accumulation, he hung with me to the not-at-all bitter end, offering analysis and advice that was exceeedingly helpful.

Really what can I say? Hoy is mah boy.

Thanks to all of you for hanging - and for God's sake if I missed anyone - call me on it immediately! It's 5AM as I write so forgive me, but correct me.

I wrote recently that the only thing better than success is success with your friends there to enjoy it with you. I know when I remember this tournament years from now it won't be the score that stands out so much as waffles seducing/tilting my table in the chat, lucko BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMing his occasional approval, and smokkee giving his regards to the Captain's antics while Hoy and I steadily climbed the ladder.

Good fucking stuff.

Nap-time.

In Memoriam.

For those of you with RSS, I’d suggest stopping by the store instead of using the binocs to peak in through the front window. Trip has been working his magic again.

I might have gone for a eulogy (I’m always up for a good speech), but propriety dictates it be done by someone closer to the departed. Al has taken care of it most admirably and freed the rest of us to stand near the casket of Guinness & Poker, tell stories, enjoy the refreshments, and eat the homemade cheese platters.

What I’ve been thinking about since learning the news is that perhaps the often untapped advantage in creating a perception lies in the opportunity to harmlessly misdirect, and offer people something very hard to find in these ultramodern times: a genuine surprise.

I wonder if aside from accolades and traffic, most of this boils down to drinks in Vegas with strangers who are part admirers, part collaborators in what Vonnegut calls a granfalloon. Some may look at the use of granfalloon instead of its nobler cousin, the karass and wonder if an insult, however oblique, is intended. And the truth of it is quite the contrary. Human beings need association – it’s good for the soul. And even if association pins on something as fabricated as a mutual love of cards and words in play, it has been a worthy association. There’s just something good natured about this sphere, and I think a great deal of it draws back to the people who started this ball rolling and have encouraged others to participate along the way.

In that regards G&P could have done no better. Between it and Tao, many, many nights on call were passed happily poring through archives and following links to other interesting takes on this universe in a bubble.

It's with a fond wave I say farewell to G&P, understanding the progenitor is still around doing his own inimitable thing.

Good on ya, Iggy, and a sincere thanks.

In Awe (and more than a little Shock).

First off: Thanks. I am truly appreciative of the support.

The second half of that post has been bubbling just below every word I have spoken aloud for the last few weeks truthfully, and getting it out felt great. I think part of what I miss at work was the ability to talk to people (those of you who’ve met me might agree that I come by the E in ENFJ honestly). In the absence of that pressure-release valve, I have been bottling things up. For a guy wired like me, that ain’t good. Peak, I completely agree with you about the exercise thing, and have already started on it. Trip is my inspiration.

As it turns out, posting was also important because my MGWB is apparently good for things non-poker related.

I shit you not.

Four hours after I posted this morning, I checked the NY Dept of Ed site and low and behold: my new york license had just been issued. Likely within minutes of me putting up my rant.

Heh. Can you fucking believe that?

Game On. [Cackles maniacally in the background, smashes small objects on his desktop...]

_________________________________

Okay back to the pokah part of this pokahblog.

Here’s a new segment at Flights called: Where's The Error?


Debts of inspiration go to Hoy (Hot Hand Maestro), Fuel (Hand Historian Extraordinaire) and smokkee (16k Big Pimp) for a great post on a cash game hand he won with K3c.

Every once in a while I will post hands that either resulted in me getting stacked at a cash game (let’s hope it’s more like once in a blue moon) or that have resulted in me getting crippled in a deep MTT run. At that point if you have time and are inclined, I’d appreciate your perspective on my play.

I know what you’re thinking – What’s in it for you, right? Well - seeing me suffer on a semi-regular basis will likely satisfy some deep-seated sadism lying underfed within your id. And then you get the opportunity to call me names [as long as there is something remotely analytical in the comment too – I ain’t particular; just dress the girl up a little, ok?] So it really is win/win.

To Wit:

Full Tilt Poker Game #1235549186: Table Anthem Club - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 14:48:39 ET - 2006/11/12
Seat 1: mariojr ($198)
Seat 2: BDBOO ($222)
Seat 3: BLOODREDD ($185)
Seat 4: joshua1981 ($212.80)
Seat 5: zx9r ($248.60)
Seat 6: cheeto42 ($196.85)
Seat 7: Jazz000 ($213.30)
Seat 8: nkmoney ($151.10)
Seat 9: Iakaris ($198.70) – only been here an orbit or so, been in a couple of hands, folded to pressure on both.
cheeto42 posts the small blind of $1
Jazz000 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #5

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Iakaris [As Kd]
nkmoney folds
Iakaris raises to $7 [standard raise for this table, with me in early MP]
mariojr folds
BDBOO folds
BLOODREDD folds
joshua1981 folds
zx9r folds
BDBOO: suck out
cheeto42 folds
Jazz000 calls $5 [range here from the BB is wide any pair, AK-AT, KQ-KJ?]

*** FLOP *** [5d 2s Ad]
Jazz000 checks [trapping or weak? Only one way to find out…]
Iakaris bets $12 [into a pot of 15 bucks – too small?]
Jazz000 calls $12[AA/KK – unlikely with no reraise preflop or post, but could be slowplaying, QQ/JJ/TT?, AK-AT, 55,22 or a diamond draw: I’m not sure where I stand with this hand, but it isn’t for a lack of raising.]

*** TURN *** [5d 2s Ad] [Ks]
Jazz000 checks [WTF does that mean?]
Iakaris bets $30 [into a $39 pot – your thoughts?]
Jazz000 raises to $70 [not much of a raise, but what to do? He’s seen me fold to reraising twice, so this could be that. I have hit this board pretty hard. Do I fold or get it in? Is there a raise I can make that exerts pressure but doesn’t commit the stack? I can’t believe just calling here is right, so it’s either raise or fold…]

Iakaris raises to $179.70, and is all in
Jazz000 calls $109.70

Iakaris shows [As Kd]
Jazz000 shows [2d 2h]
*** RIVER *** [5d 2s Ad Ks] [Jh]

Iakaris shows two pair, Aces and Kings
Jazz000 shows three of a kind, Twos
Jazz000 wins the pot ($395.40) with three of a kind, Twos

Iakaris is sitting out [Iakaris is actually tilting ferociously and wondering why the fuck he insists he can figure out cash games when the universe has repeatedly asked him in no uncertain terms to Fuck Right Off.]

*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $398.40 Rake $3
Board: [5d 2s Ad Ks Jh]
Seat 7: Jazz000 (big blind) showed [2d 2h] and won ($395.40) with three of a kind, Twos
Seat 9: Iakaris showed [As Kd] and lost with two pair, Aces and Kings

Okay, look forward to some help.

To sum up: License Received. Spirits Biblically Lifted. Cash Game Still Wobbly.

Laytah.

In between days.

Limited poker content.

By limited I mean I played pretty unevenly in the FTOPS (went out 1000th out of 3000th) and no, not happy about it in the least. Got zero action on my big hands and got played back at with everything I tried – started out having to lay down Queens to a flop reraise push – he played it like Aces so there ya go. The few hands I won I actually hated my passive play, despite accumulating chips. I think part of the problem was that I broke my usual routine and took a nap for a couple of hours to “rest up” for it. Man was I fucking groggy for the first 40 minutes. Nevah Again.

Still outlasted blinders! Ha. Knew I should’ve taken that bet…

Played the 109 6max and just couldn’t get it going. Played the 20k and looked good without hitting anything really, but got crippled when I just chickened out on the turn (should’ve pushed – no question) and let the guy with AK catch a K on the river. I would characterize my play over these last two days as oscillations of Paralysis and Frustration.

Cash game still can’t get it right – playing TAGGIER (25/15) and moved to full ring on Don’s advice. I like it for now. But I have been set over setted and AK and two pair to bottoms set enough times to have me questioning if I am still too anxious to get the chips in the middle. I’ll post my most recent stacking in a day or two, and would appreciate any feedback.

As they say, ”Working on it.”

End Poker Content.

Got more on my mind that I need to put down. Feel free to skip if you don’t generally find me as fascinating as I obviously do. Having reread this thing I advise you to move on and want to assure you that no one needs to feel sorry for me. As far as a grievance goes, it’s paltry in the extreme. Still – my blog, my prerogative to barf all over it, no?

I desperately need to get back to work. Lately, I find myself almost uncontrollably angry about how I have been left to rust by the New York licensing process. It is not much of an exaggeration to say this is a gross neglect of HIGHLY skilled labour, and the capper is that I don’t know when this insanity is going to end. Fucking Ridiculous.

But I’ve come to realize exactly why I am playing poker these days and understand what these last few months have been about in terms of hours spent and goals set. It turns out that staying home is slowing making me crazy. I am easily frustrated, quick to anger and otherwise unpleasant to be around. Now generally speaking, in my hospital life I can be an arrogant prick when I want, so that’s not that unusual. But I’ve generally left that side of my personality at the office. Lately, it’s creeping into the goings on around the house.

Not goot.

The truth is I am highly competitive, pretty conceited and have a huge ego. Now I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I’m married to a pretty accomplished girl. She’s a Radiologist with specialized training in MRI and women’s imaging. Very impressive stuff and back when I roamed the hospital like a BMOC, I celebrated each accomplishment of hers like it was one of my own. Why not? It was easy back then, I was one of the few people in the hospital with more years of training than her, and a job description that was at least as flashy. But lately, I don’t like hearing about her interesting cases or what’s going on over in a place I spent 8 years, and still know a huge number of people. Why? I feel depersonalized from the experience of being a doctor, like I can barely remember it.

So it turns out poker is the only the thing I have in my life that’s remotely close to the satisfactions I routinely derived from days in the EP lab. I am playing poker to keep from losing my mind. I’d call that situation desperate, no?

I miss my job.

Actually, what I miss, in order of importance are:

1) my new job [where I will be the MuthaFuckin Man – one of only 4 guys in a city of a million who can do what I can do]
2) my old gig in academics – pay sucked relatively speaking, but it was pretty intellectually satisfying
3) a nanny (and no, not in a Jude Law kind of way – our nannies have been uniformly much hotter than the one he had a turn on, but that shiyat just ain’t right)

Number 3 has been the back breaker the last two months. I am not kidding. I am just about as frustrated and tired as I was at the end of Cards fellowship, and that is saying a lot. In taking over the role of primary caregivah to the wee folk around here – I’ve realized just how arduous life must be for your typical stay-at-home Mom. I am suitably in awe, and just about at wit’s end.

That said, I am pretty picky about nannies. No, not just about their looks, although I assure you an overweight nanny will prove problematic more times than not, whereas a good looking one will have zero trouble getting my 4 year-old son to do whatever the hell she tells him. [Attaboy: aim high! I still remember the time the best looking nanny he’s had asked him for a hug and he ran up to her and planted a big one right on the lips, then ran away howling like a coyote. She looked totally stunned and I had to keep from yelling, “That’s mah boy!”] I just know that if I’m going to have someone in the house with the kids, they better be someone worth having around. Good help…etc.etc.

So to sum up: I am going nuts. Said insanity is leaking into my game. And like it or not, there ain’t no end in sight.

Laytah.

Is Waffles the next WSOP champ?

Amazingly poor showing on my part yesterday on just about every front of poker (heh: of course I mean NLHE) you could think to play. Yet I still went to bed (around 2AM I think) in an excellent mood. The reason?

Our boy Waffles.

He made a great run at the 25k finishing 33rd out of the 1300+. Very entertaining stuff, and I thought he played it great. It was fascinating to rail the 25k for a change (I busted way, way early as just part of a juggernaut of terrible moves I will detail shortly) and it brought home for me just how much has to be working in your favour to final table the damn thing.

It also got me thinking a little bit about observation bias.

When Waffles hit 1000/2000 + antes his 23k stack suddenly looked more vulnerable, and the wiggle room had predictably begun to shrink. I was sitting there thinking what would I do here? He was in position in the CO-1 and the blinds were short enough that they would be risking their tournament life to call him. It looked ideal for an open push, with four to act.

But it can be tricky business when you’re in IM chat with your friends while they and/or you MTT. Since a good chunk of your run will come down deciding if you like your weak, suited Ace or mid-pocket pair enough to risk your tournament life with them, I rarely ask anyone what they would do. In those situations I often don’t even discuss my holding until it’s done. My rationale is that those decisions are sometimes so tough that I want to be solely responsible for them, good or bad [to reiterate, yesterday bad…bad bad bad]. The other dimension to this is that the few times I have asked an opinion (Jo and Don come to mind) and not listened to it, it has made me nuts for a few hands when their prediction came to fruition. It detunes my radio and has me rethinking my reads. So it’s tough. And now I see how tough it is for observers to even venture opinions; knowing if they’re wrong they would be contributing to the demise of a thing rare and promising.

What also struck me is how tough it is to decide to pull a move with a bunch of people watching. If it works, great. If not, you will look like an idiot. The other day someone jokingly mentioned “Iak always gets it in good”. That made me laugh, because as we all have seen on a weekly basis, I am more than willing to get it in bad if one of two things is in play: 1) I think I’m getting it in good based on my read 2) Getting it in bad is better than not getting it in at all. Number two is what I have been experimenting with more and more, but it’s an adjustment that’s been riddled with very donkish looking exits as I try to learn just how bad is acceptable. A work in progress is often the most interesting the work ever gets.

So these things were running through my head as it folded over to Waffles: Would I want an outside opinion here? What if he does what I recommend and it blows up in his face? What if he doesn’t do what I recommend and it turned out to have been right? Is Waffles not making more moves because we are watching and he doesn’t want to exit without getting his money in good? I am thinking not of Waffles here, but myself specifically. I once had a run in the 25k earlier this summer where Don and JJ were practically pleading with me to push as my stack eroded, but I hadn’t learned enough about odds and M to understand I was well into ATC range. I busted in the 60’s I think, and that was the first time I realized I was going to have to retool and change the way I play if I wanted results like Hoy and smokkee.

And that’s not to say I thought Waffles didn’t make enough moves. He stole when he had too and played tenaciously in position. He also got it in very good against two stacks with AK (vs. AJ and 68o) and got screwed by the board. I can’t say it enough, that was a great run, and you shoulda been final table bound.

So how did the hand in question end? I bit the bullet and typed in my rec to steal the blinds. Almost simultanenously Waffles folded and the CO bigstack pushed. Both blinds folded. “Knew It” I typed…then the CO showed JJ.

Oops.

My bad. Good thing Waffles pays no attention to me anyway.

So here’s to our boy for a great run. I predict bettah in the near future.

Mmmmmmm? Oh the recap of my vicious night for you sadists? Why not?

MTTs:
cc’s – 77 – JJ (frustration – dealt 5 pocket pairs in about two orbits, won one hand)
The Not – can’t even remember but think it was pairs again (by this point I no longer care)
25k – overs and flush draw no goot
FTOPS Event 4: this one hurt – I played a good game and was 11th with 12 left and five seats, but one doubleup from being right in the thick of things. Stopped concentrating while chatting in IM actually, and misread the dude’s push. I had 55 and thought I had him covered by a mile. This is 6 max, but even there it’s a loose call. 88 and I am crippled. I push a flop with QKo and Q flush draw. Called by low pair with A flush draw. Flush hits and that‘s that. I am pretty sure I will win a seat, these don’t seem that hard.
Cash: 100NL – total negative for the day was just shy of 100 bucks over three micro sessions. Yeah I had a lot of background noise last night, but I was too tired to be playing anything. And I didn’t listen to myself.

Thus our hero blows about 200 bucks in buy-ins and Tight/Weak calldowns. Shameful. The truth is I don't think there was a single bad beat in the entire run. Just poor play.

Oh well, tonight will be different. I’ve had a nap. If you want to play with me, I will definitely be in that Event 4 sat at 11pm. As Blinders rightly noted, “EASY MONEY”

Ia4ka4ris

Interlocking pieces...aka FTOPS satellite whore...aka The 16k: If you thought A4 was dumb...

Edit: forgot to mention that cc's MTT is on tonight. I got last minute Cavs tickets, but if I can't find a babysitter (highly likely) I will have to give them to my younger brother - the childless, wifeless, regular workout version of me. It's on Stars, so I have no shot of winning, but cc's a helluva good guy, so I definitely want to support this party. So very, very likely see you there.


Borrowing shamelessly a page from Hoy (what else is new?):

Did everyone see that smokkee final tabled the 16k? Yeah, again. So what, you ask? Well you should still stop by and congratulate the guy! Sure he's prolly bored of raking in thousands of dollars slaying MTTs on FT, and even more bored by our utter astonishment at his regular destruction of MTTs live and online. But good form is Good Form. Lord Card Rack deserves our adulation, and so he shall have it. Starting with your hero, Captain Lucksac.

A little quieter, blinders is on quite the tear too. Blinders plays a different MTT style than I or any of the guys I model my game after play. Proving once again, there is no one correct way, his play is very effective as well, culminating in the coveted WWdN title this week. He also writes a very interesting blog. I like his style, and meant to say so a while ago. Somehow it slipped my mind. My bad.

Alright, enough talking about other people! Now back to the true point of this thing - the incessant maelstrom of self-directed beatification.



Well, I guess I should thank Fuel. For an INTJ, he's OK.

[BTW, everyone should do that survey Fuel has linked - I can't be the only ENFJ can I? Why does mine sound so totally effeminate? My hunch is Danny N. is one, but that's just a guess. ]

I seriously would not have played the Event #6 satellite last night without Fuel's encouragement at the Mookie. 2 seats awarded. After what seemed like an interminable 4 handed session, the big stack took out the other two for me. So, no, I won't exactly claim final table dominance just yet. The good news is, that's back-to-back FTOPS satellites entered and two seats won for the effort.

Fuel and Jo (as usual) were also incredibly helpful at the start in explaining to me the differences between NLHE and pot-limit, since I have to admit this was the first time I had played it. Fortunately, good cards came my way, I got action on my big hands and they held up, and it began to play like NL enough that I got over my initial trepidation.

Props as always to Hoy, who's great post yesterday reaffirmed my desire to keep playing these satellites.

A pretty good MTT night overall [cash another story altogether - i am just a cash donkey - this time I promise to remember it and quit once and for all]. I final tabled the Mookie; finishing 6th in a fashion I can live with when I was crippled by an uneven Ace who found two friends. Then again I had delivered some similar ugliness just hands before, so all's well. It does make me feel good to know I can consistently get to the point where a win is at least plausible, if only infrequently realized.

I also ran deep in the 16k on a token whim. Busted 49th just one hand after I won my Event 6 seat. It's interesting to me how euphoria or anti-tilt unhinges me. It has happened often enough that I should definitely anticipate it and counteract it. It's a shame I donked out huge, because I played well in the 16k. I made two big moves (carefully timed position pushes holding draws I hoped not to need) that essentially got me to 7k from 3k in two orbits without having to showdown. It's fun when you read your opponent as foldable and then just push his buttons enough that you give him the reason he's looking for to fold.

I felt poised to do damage - decent sized stack with 50 left. The exit is as bad if not worse than A4 at the big game. I just have to get it into my thick fucking skull that I need to be on guard constantly for this tendency to implode.

Details? BB K6c - I call what looks like a position steal. K on flop two coordinated diamonds, I bet 70% of pot (my standard declaration of war). He pushes and I have him just barely covered. Obviously I called and lost. So why did I call? I felt this move reaked of two diamonds, with mid pair maybe. If I am right he is drawing to a flush with an Ace maybe in the field as well. If I can just hold the line here I will look great. I make the ballsy [you'll need a sense of irony to get this sentence] call only to find KQ.

I gotta say I don't love his push. The only hands that will call this are ones that are going to beat you, be looking a big draw, or those held by a complete monkey [ie. your host].

Oh well. Yet another tourney I looked like I had a lock on ITM until I insisted I just let someone else have the dough. My consolation will have to be that in the few times I have played the 16k I have always been able to contend late into it. 49/330 aint great, but it aint bad either. And there's always tomorrow. For now, as Byron once wrote, "t'is time for a nap before the sun and her fair-faced, but foul-smelling despoilers of diapers arise."

Laytah.

In praise of new ideas...aka What Would Lucko Do?...aka Hoy's blog comes through again.

To Recap:

Big Game: Two words: embarrassing exit. Played pretty good throughout just to cough the fucker up on the 5 yard line. Congrats to sprstoner (and smokkee and guin) for teaching this donkey how to make the money. Despite being a bubble(head), in terms of finishes I gotta be the overall Big Game points leader no? A third and a fourth in two cracks? To paraphrase Denny Green - "if you want to crown [him] now...go ahead and crown [him]"

Sure winning Daytona is sexy, but isn't the Cup really what it's all about?

And in other news...

FT 20k last night? Early exit because I was three tabling and got my position completely reversed, thinking a decent size pot had been checked to me. I push with second pair thinking there is no way they are calling this. Actually I was first to act and find not one, but TWO callers. Remember, for every bad beat there are a shitload of good ones out there too.

MATH? Ski had his read on my hand (2 overs) and despite firing pre, post and pushing the turn I couldn't get him of those 6s. I like his call - given how aggro dumb I get after each decent cash, you should be calling everything I bet too.

Any Good News? Yup.

I had a moment of clarity today. This is the honest state of my game to my eyes:

My MTT game has made significant improvements in the last 4 months. To the point that I genuinely feel when I sit down I believe I can make a final table or bust very, very close. That doesn't always happen, of course, but it has happened often enough in these last few months to convince me there might be more to it than just hot cards and a lot of breaks. [Though to be fair, there's been plenty of those too.]

Now this is different from when smokkee got back from Vegas last week having laid waste to back-to-back-to-back MTTs. Smokkee's sincere take is that he is a contender to win any thing he signs up for, and I know Hoy believes the same thing too. I would say they've come by those impressions honestly.

That's the next step for me.

Still, if you ask me if I think I could final table any MTT from the 12k to 25k, and just about any Blogger tournament, and finish between 4-9th - I would say I've reached the point where I actually expect to get there. I'm not surprised when I don't, but that is definitely what I am asking of myself. When I don't I just try to figure out what I messed up and how to correct it for next time.

The point; aside from the great joy I derive in singing my own praises?

I read Hoy's post about winning his entry to the FTOPS Event#6 (Pot Limit HoldEm) this morning. I read it very, very carefully. Especially the part about the end game and heads up competition. I decided I would give a satellite a shot tonight. And when I found one for Event#2 - NLHE (of course), basically a $216 with a 500k guarantee - starting relatively early and with enough runners (58) to offer seats for the top 6 finishes, I just KNEW I was going to win one. I feel gunshy about taking shots at things where only 1 or 2 spots are offered - I just don't finish strongly enough to feel good about my chances at those yet.

But 6th? I am all over sixth.

And I was.

Before you can ask Waffles - here is the complete list of beats I received and delivered, as well as a couple of coolers:

I got rivered fierce with AQ v AJ - got it all in on the turn with what I felt was a strong read and tough call on my part, only to frown a little by the end of the hand. I was down to 1k but not out, which is a critically important point. I had him covered by enough to live to fight another day if I got screwed or was wrong on his range and that factored heavily into my call. I direct anyone interested to Dutch Boyd's Hammered but Profound analysis of busting when ahead - link courtesy of Fuel.

I quickly settled on a very simple strategy to set the stage for a comeback. Any hand I would even consider raising with, I would push with instead - I had 10BB so this might have been a little aggro for some. I knew I would likely get away with this twice before I got looked up. Fate conspired with me and KK arrived just in time to deliver an overbet that AQs was all too willing to call and double. I ran aground for a bit when TT hit JJ and 99 hit TT, but because I was mixing it up with shorties who looked like desperation pushes, I survived both. Then tried to pick on a guy with just a shade less than me and run 99 into JJ, and survive only because of a 9 on the flop. I don't know anyone who has taken down anything worth having without encountering some favor along the way, so I don't feel to bad about this - heh.

I hit the final table in second place with a huge margin over the rest of the field, and decided to experiment lucko style. I tried to play the bubble (7th got their buy-in back, so there was really two bubbles) very hard and I accumulated a bunch of chips (15k to 24k by the time it broke)reraising people enough to give them the impression I'd call their push, knowing they'd fold almost anything rather than risk bubbling. I just can't believe I wasn't even aware of this opportunity before - it all boils down to can you just bring yourself to make those bets. For whatever it's worth - I really learned something useful in that first Big Game, lucko. Thanks.
And thanks to CracknAces for stopping by and wishing me well. Missed you at the Big Game, brotha. Naturally blogger events should be exempt from your alledgedly impending retirement.

Eventually the two shorties took each other on and we were all set with our entries. I was hoping people might want to play it out, and I was going to try and get some headsup experience, but nope - push fest. Oh well. At the moment we all won our seats, I was second in chips. That might be just random numbers being generated, but considering I played most of this game trying a new style (West Coast offence comes to Cleveland), I am hopeful this is the start of getting my MTT game ready for bigger and better things.

Ya know, like Event Number 2 of the FTOPS. ME seat to follow shortly?

Laytah.

In lieu of my own homework.

A relatively short list of guys and gals are on a list of people I’ve met through this blog whom I now consider friends.

One of them has paid homage to another and it deserves everyone’s attention.

File it under Flattery/Sincerest Form.

I know I've said it before, but it's been a while: Hacker is one of the funniest writers out in our little duckpond. I speak from painful experience (see July 2 -6).

If you're taking requests, do this guy or this guy next.


Edit: damn. just bubbled The Big Game. perfect overbet for value by smokkee with QQ. still hate my call with A4o and not just cause it lost. i got inside my own head and called because I felt I had folded to too many reraises. i can't think of many hands where calling off your stack with A4 on the bubble is a good idea. dumb. oh well - cya in 2 weeks.

Invitation to a Gunfighter...aka Big Game Sunday...aka A Kinder Gentler Callout

Just a quick reminder that this is Big Game Sunday coming up. We have only have five on board so far, which is a little concerning because we had a bigger head of steam going last time. I’d really like this baby to keep increasing, but as long as it’s offered, I will be there.

And yes, I understand the slow enrollment.

I blame myself entirely. After bearing witness to the utter devastation I wreaked last time none of you want to knowingly donate 69 bucks to my coffers. (heh – 69 - heh)

CMON! Baby needs new shoes. Manolos!

In other words, bring it biotches. As in, yer best game to the best blogger MTT structure out there. Full ring, deep stacks, against guys most of you have encyclopedias of notes on, and a payday that you will log with pride as a few hours reasonably well spent.

Oh and yeah - I formally promise not to openly (or obliquely) accuse anyone who finishes higher than me of nefarious doings of any sort. This time I mean it.

All of you who finish below me are fair game. Donkeys.

So like I said – BIG GAME SUNDAY. All the cool kids (New, Old & The Nebulously UnDesignated) will be there. At least I hope so. If you’re looking for the tourney, just search for me.

Hdouble – I formally extend an invite. Password is Donkey. Since you're a blogger again, you may as well start acting like one. Good times, good times…

Laytah.

Is having as sweet as wanting? Actually, yes...aka FT 25K Final Table...aka Why the fuck didn't I request a win?

Well, I played pretty poorly at the Mookie. Called a push by lucko holding bottom pair and an OESD, figuring he MIGHT have TPTK or just be putting a move on me. Nope - top two. I river my straight. Looked like a total moron. I've said it before, but at blogger-go-rounds in particular I just don't want it if I have to donk my way there. Suckouts happen, but that was just dumb. Captain Lucksac indeed, smokkee.

On a brighter note, I fared better in the FT 25K.

Many many thanks to Don, JJ, Waffles, Jo, Weak and of course Fuel for hanging with me. Mookie and Fastpitch also hung out too, proving that if there's anything better than success, it's success with your friends watching. Even if they do get to see you at your Weak/Tighty worst occasionally. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Yes, After many, many posts promising it - the MWGB finally delivered: I final tabled the FT25K (ne: 20K) at long bloody last. And I have to say; donkament or no - it is a great feeling to wade through a field that large and get it done. Well almost. But they say sixth is where it's really at anyway. It's been a good week in this tournament with cashes the last three attempts, and I am now WAY positive for the effort.

Shoulda asked for a win. Even though I was short to start, I thought this was a good, good omen.

I'm pretty tired so I'll keep this relatively short. I have a major leak that became crystal clear to me in this MTT and I may as well post it, because that's always been my first step to improvement. I have almost zero final table skills. It's no wonder I've only won three MTTs in the entire time I've been playing - 2 of them blogger tourneys (The Not and The Mookie - I also chopped the FT 3.5K once). After playing what I consider to be a logical, occasionally brave game to get to the final table, I break down completely. I will have to grow as a player to take it to the next level. There is a qualitative difference between guys like lucko, smokkee, and Hoy compared to guys like me. I am still in that group that hasn't figured out those last few pieces of this very complicated puzzle. But I am optimistic I will. Sooner than later hopefully.

In my defense I was a microshorty, which limited my flexibility, but I still don't like my play overall. Again, that's not a bad thing - how can you improve if you're complacent? I seriously deserved to get blinded out - I folded almost three full orbits to where when I pushed I didn't even cover the big blind. Can you spell card dead? Well that, and two tactical laydowns hoping other shorties would bust before me - no luck: before I pushed there were four all-in confrontations with the pusher winning every time. I had resigned myself to an 8th place finish with a smile on my face.

This MTT being on Full Tilt however, I was given a reprieve by my poker alma mater:

Yup, FT loves me and I love FT. I can almost promise the day my boy the HammerPlayah moves MATH to its rightful place I will take her down despite my inept endgame. FT just wants good things to happen to me and so they do. Like fer example - here's me trying to get my money in ahead:
Yeesh. I had suffered three terrible beats on my way up the hill (albiet pretty early and all for relatively small pots know that I think about it), so maybe the universe felt a little guilty. Or just wanted to do me a solid. Either way, much appreciated. Does it look better to note I am pushing first in that picture? I basically think each of us did ok on that one, and the favorite son simply brought it home.

Besides, getting your money in ahead is way, way over-rated, as demonstrated by my eventual exit shown below [all money in preflop]. Yet again I go out a slight favourite preflop I think.
Whatevah...I wouldn't have even been that far unless I got ridiculously lucky with my first push. And anyway, it's all good, because as far as I'm concerned this was a mission accomplished.

Next up: rereading Harrington, maybe pick up the new volume and work on my endgame.

Then of course, I'll try to win this thing.

L A Y T A H.

It could have been worse.

Heh.

Got the itch to try cash games again.

What can I say – the idea that I can’t get the hang of it really rubs me the wrong way

…aka Your Host is a Stubborn Moron.

Bounced around 6max 100 and 200NL single tabling for the most part.

Up $400 after 3 hours. 30/22.  It’s 1 AM and I am fucking sleepy, and frankly a little bored.

Back to exactly zero dollars for the effort by 3AM when set over set and flush over flush bust me twice.

I chuckle nervously but not exactly unhappily as I climb the stairs, thinking, “sometimes, my friend, you are just so…YOU.”

Heh.