In between days.
Limited poker content.
By limited I mean I played pretty unevenly in the FTOPS (went out 1000th out of 3000th) and no, not happy about it in the least. Got zero action on my big hands and got played back at with everything I tried – started out having to lay down Queens to a flop reraise push – he played it like Aces so there ya go. The few hands I won I actually hated my passive play, despite accumulating chips. I think part of the problem was that I broke my usual routine and took a nap for a couple of hours to “rest up” for it. Man was I fucking groggy for the first 40 minutes. Nevah Again.
Still outlasted blinders! Ha. Knew I should’ve taken that bet…
Played the 109 6max and just couldn’t get it going. Played the 20k and looked good without hitting anything really, but got crippled when I just chickened out on the turn (should’ve pushed – no question) and let the guy with AK catch a K on the river. I would characterize my play over these last two days as oscillations of Paralysis and Frustration.
Cash game still can’t get it right – playing TAGGIER (25/15) and moved to full ring on Don’s advice. I like it for now. But I have been set over setted and AK and two pair to bottoms set enough times to have me questioning if I am still too anxious to get the chips in the middle. I’ll post my most recent stacking in a day or two, and would appreciate any feedback.
As they say, ”Working on it.”
End Poker Content.
Got more on my mind that I need to put down. Feel free to skip if you don’t generally find me as fascinating as I obviously do. Having reread this thing I advise you to move on and want to assure you that no one needs to feel sorry for me. As far as a grievance goes, it’s paltry in the extreme. Still – my blog, my prerogative to barf all over it, no?
I desperately need to get back to work. Lately, I find myself almost uncontrollably angry about how I have been left to rust by the New York licensing process. It is not much of an exaggeration to say this is a gross neglect of HIGHLY skilled labour, and the capper is that I don’t know when this insanity is going to end. Fucking Ridiculous.
But I’ve come to realize exactly why I am playing poker these days and understand what these last few months have been about in terms of hours spent and goals set. It turns out that staying home is slowing making me crazy. I am easily frustrated, quick to anger and otherwise unpleasant to be around. Now generally speaking, in my hospital life I can be an arrogant prick when I want, so that’s not that unusual. But I’ve generally left that side of my personality at the office. Lately, it’s creeping into the goings on around the house.
Not goot.
The truth is I am highly competitive, pretty conceited and have a huge ego. Now I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I’m married to a pretty accomplished girl. She’s a Radiologist with specialized training in MRI and women’s imaging. Very impressive stuff and back when I roamed the hospital like a BMOC, I celebrated each accomplishment of hers like it was one of my own. Why not? It was easy back then, I was one of the few people in the hospital with more years of training than her, and a job description that was at least as flashy. But lately, I don’t like hearing about her interesting cases or what’s going on over in a place I spent 8 years, and still know a huge number of people. Why? I feel depersonalized from the experience of being a doctor, like I can barely remember it.
So it turns out poker is the only the thing I have in my life that’s remotely close to the satisfactions I routinely derived from days in the EP lab. I am playing poker to keep from losing my mind. I’d call that situation desperate, no?
I miss my job.
Actually, what I miss, in order of importance are:
1) my new job [where I will be the MuthaFuckin Man – one of only 4 guys in a city of a million who can do what I can do]
2) my old gig in academics – pay sucked relatively speaking, but it was pretty intellectually satisfying
3) a nanny (and no, not in a Jude Law kind of way – our nannies have been uniformly much hotter than the one he had a turn on, but that shiyat just ain’t right)
Number 3 has been the back breaker the last two months. I am not kidding. I am just about as frustrated and tired as I was at the end of Cards fellowship, and that is saying a lot. In taking over the role of primary caregivah to the wee folk around here – I’ve realized just how arduous life must be for your typical stay-at-home Mom. I am suitably in awe, and just about at wit’s end.
That said, I am pretty picky about nannies. No, not just about their looks, although I assure you an overweight nanny will prove problematic more times than not, whereas a good looking one will have zero trouble getting my 4 year-old son to do whatever the hell she tells him. [Attaboy: aim high! I still remember the time the best looking nanny he’s had asked him for a hug and he ran up to her and planted a big one right on the lips, then ran away howling like a coyote. She looked totally stunned and I had to keep from yelling, “That’s mah boy!”] I just know that if I’m going to have someone in the house with the kids, they better be someone worth having around. Good help…etc.etc.
So to sum up: I am going nuts. Said insanity is leaking into my game. And like it or not, there ain’t no end in sight.
Laytah.
By limited I mean I played pretty unevenly in the FTOPS (went out 1000th out of 3000th) and no, not happy about it in the least. Got zero action on my big hands and got played back at with everything I tried – started out having to lay down Queens to a flop reraise push – he played it like Aces so there ya go. The few hands I won I actually hated my passive play, despite accumulating chips. I think part of the problem was that I broke my usual routine and took a nap for a couple of hours to “rest up” for it. Man was I fucking groggy for the first 40 minutes. Nevah Again.
Still outlasted blinders! Ha. Knew I should’ve taken that bet…
Played the 109 6max and just couldn’t get it going. Played the 20k and looked good without hitting anything really, but got crippled when I just chickened out on the turn (should’ve pushed – no question) and let the guy with AK catch a K on the river. I would characterize my play over these last two days as oscillations of Paralysis and Frustration.
Cash game still can’t get it right – playing TAGGIER (25/15) and moved to full ring on Don’s advice. I like it for now. But I have been set over setted and AK and two pair to bottoms set enough times to have me questioning if I am still too anxious to get the chips in the middle. I’ll post my most recent stacking in a day or two, and would appreciate any feedback.
As they say, ”Working on it.”
End Poker Content.
Got more on my mind that I need to put down. Feel free to skip if you don’t generally find me as fascinating as I obviously do. Having reread this thing I advise you to move on and want to assure you that no one needs to feel sorry for me. As far as a grievance goes, it’s paltry in the extreme. Still – my blog, my prerogative to barf all over it, no?
I desperately need to get back to work. Lately, I find myself almost uncontrollably angry about how I have been left to rust by the New York licensing process. It is not much of an exaggeration to say this is a gross neglect of HIGHLY skilled labour, and the capper is that I don’t know when this insanity is going to end. Fucking Ridiculous.
But I’ve come to realize exactly why I am playing poker these days and understand what these last few months have been about in terms of hours spent and goals set. It turns out that staying home is slowing making me crazy. I am easily frustrated, quick to anger and otherwise unpleasant to be around. Now generally speaking, in my hospital life I can be an arrogant prick when I want, so that’s not that unusual. But I’ve generally left that side of my personality at the office. Lately, it’s creeping into the goings on around the house.
Not goot.
The truth is I am highly competitive, pretty conceited and have a huge ego. Now I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I’m married to a pretty accomplished girl. She’s a Radiologist with specialized training in MRI and women’s imaging. Very impressive stuff and back when I roamed the hospital like a BMOC, I celebrated each accomplishment of hers like it was one of my own. Why not? It was easy back then, I was one of the few people in the hospital with more years of training than her, and a job description that was at least as flashy. But lately, I don’t like hearing about her interesting cases or what’s going on over in a place I spent 8 years, and still know a huge number of people. Why? I feel depersonalized from the experience of being a doctor, like I can barely remember it.
So it turns out poker is the only the thing I have in my life that’s remotely close to the satisfactions I routinely derived from days in the EP lab. I am playing poker to keep from losing my mind. I’d call that situation desperate, no?
I miss my job.
Actually, what I miss, in order of importance are:
1) my new job [where I will be the MuthaFuckin Man – one of only 4 guys in a city of a million who can do what I can do]
2) my old gig in academics – pay sucked relatively speaking, but it was pretty intellectually satisfying
3) a nanny (and no, not in a Jude Law kind of way – our nannies have been uniformly much hotter than the one he had a turn on, but that shiyat just ain’t right)
Number 3 has been the back breaker the last two months. I am not kidding. I am just about as frustrated and tired as I was at the end of Cards fellowship, and that is saying a lot. In taking over the role of primary caregivah to the wee folk around here – I’ve realized just how arduous life must be for your typical stay-at-home Mom. I am suitably in awe, and just about at wit’s end.
That said, I am pretty picky about nannies. No, not just about their looks, although I assure you an overweight nanny will prove problematic more times than not, whereas a good looking one will have zero trouble getting my 4 year-old son to do whatever the hell she tells him. [Attaboy: aim high! I still remember the time the best looking nanny he’s had asked him for a hug and he ran up to her and planted a big one right on the lips, then ran away howling like a coyote. She looked totally stunned and I had to keep from yelling, “That’s mah boy!”] I just know that if I’m going to have someone in the house with the kids, they better be someone worth having around. Good help…etc.etc.
So to sum up: I am going nuts. Said insanity is leaking into my game. And like it or not, there ain’t no end in sight.
Laytah.
posted by Iakaris aka I.A.K. at 11:39 AM
11 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Different, but the same. I'm with you, possibly several months ahead. It's not good, so hope you can find a detour back to reality sooner rather than later.
Not a day goes by that I don't appreciate what my wife does as a pseudo-stay-at-home-mom. I spend a whole weekend with the girls and I am begging to go back to work on Monday.......as much as I love them and love being with them, they can drive you insane.
Good luck with all that you do, and remember poker is just a game. Do what you can to not let it interfere with your daily life.....especially when your life is goooooot......
Of course, that is easier said than done......
Find the good out of the situation whatever that may be and don't ever forget its who you are that makes you the person not what you do or don't do for a living.
So hang tough bro, you know it will get better. Remember days like this when you're in Buffalo and waiting for the wife and kids to arrive permanently.
i guess it would be tuf to focus on your game during the day with the midgets around. otherwise, i'd suggest more playing time.
hang in there brotha.
Darling boy, you obviously understand exactly why, despite regular blogger encouragement, I would never, ever go poker pro.
Having survived Aussie Immigration process, I can assure you, the nutters at NY state licensing will eventually get off their ass!
::hugs::
Honestly man, I come home from work on Friday around 7pm, and often it's still Friday night when I decide I can't take any more of the kids screaming. Sometimes my mood on Saturday and especially Sunday night is a flipping embarrassment to men everywhere. I thought I was the only one who desperately longs for the return to work on Monday mornings.
As you know, I watch my 16-month old on Fridays. A few suggestions, take them or leave them for being suggestions on a Monday afternoon when I'm trying to avoid writing.
1. Do something small with the kids each day. Even if it means a Target errand run. It will help all of you. They do not have to be three-hour events. There have been times I just drove to the mall to look at the fish tank for 20 minutes.
2. Make sure you are taking time for yourself every day. Hold them to naps and a strict schedule. I have no doubt you are doing this, but I'm just sayin'...
3. Poker is a frustrating, maddening and intense game besides being wonderful and exhilirating, so for God sakes I hope you are doing other things, such as reading, movies or video games.
4. Your blog is wonderful. Write more about your life, as it will help you process what's going on with it.
5. Finally, and I don't mean to lecture you here or sound like Richard Simmons, but if anyone sounded like a candidate in need of a workout program, you're it. You don't have to be me and get all addicted and intense about it.
Start small, start easy, but for gosh sakes start something soon. Run a mile three times a week. Something. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel.
Hang in there Iak. Maybe we should play a Friday or something, maybe a Yahoo chat to help.
oy...
...I hope shit starts to work itself out. Get yo ass back to work, but don't leave us stranded here in poker and blog land.
< quote> You don't have to be me and get all addicted and intense about it. < /quote>
Um..you know to whom you're addressing this right? I'm fairly convinced it's impossible for him to undertake anything without addicted or intense playing a factor.
What is this freaking Dr. Phil?!?!?! Fricking panzy bloggers. Buck up little camper and take the advice I gave you before: A little back alley abortion work. It will keep your cutting skills sharp.
Kids are meant to drive you insane. It is a given. Soon you will be working again and this little detour in life will give you alot of insight. So next time the Nanny asks you to bang her you can tell her it's ok, because you know what she goes through every day.
Peace bro.
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