I am an idiot, but there are mitigating circumstances...aka at least she's Canadian...aka this week's screwup at the WWdN...

Greetings sportsfans. Yep, I'm talking to you, because while blog numero uno is for the sheer pleasure of writing and working things out for myself, I would be kidding if I pretended I don't write this stuff in the hopes someone will read it and smile for one reason or another.

This blog is an act of enlightened self-interest, and it has introduced me to Eric, Don, Hoya [who's profound influence on my game may take years of therapy to undo], Jordan and Wes (not forget the lovely Carmen), thereby justifying its existence in perpetuity. Who knows who'll stop by the comments section next and say hey. [Edit: can't believe I forgot to mention Mookie on this list - has everyone noted how cool it is of The Mook to stop by and visit everyone's site post tournament, thank them for playing and coment? Class Act through and through. Plus he must have about as much down time as I do these days!]

A quick aside on The Questions:
For the record, I read Trip Jax's blog regularly and have for a long time, but there is no way in the world that my answers to his thought-provoking questions would be of any interest to someone seeking to improve their play. I considered pulling a Constanza and figuring out what I would normally say and then writing down the exact opposite, but felt even that could be detrimental to an innocuous passerby, since we all know the opposite of uninformed is actually mis-informed. Put another way, the only thing worse than no information, is bad information. For further elucidation, I refer you to what's left of Iraq.

Now back to the blog and how it has helped me meet people who are cool to talk and have inspired me to try and improve my play. To all of them I apologize, because none of this alleged improvement showed last night. If anything, I think I am playing worse in the WWdN as time passes! Still, even if that's true...I had my moments last night.

Okay, not the one where I handed Jules a huge chunk (read almost all) of my stack when I raised my 99 into a KJK flop and she gave me a whopper reraise...donkey says, "She must be bluffing". donkey call. donkey break leg, but unlike Derby winner, no one waiting to perform surgery underwater. Plus donkey only wish he gets Derby winner's stud fees. donkey perfectly happy to perform stud duties at significant discount, but no takers... [This hand has eerie similarities to the one last Tuesday where Gillain put whip-to-hide with his Jacks to the Fourth (DQB!) that I thought I could bluff through. This isnt so much a hole or a leak to be addressed. The Captain needs to draw and quarter himself , then start from scratch...]

Yet I can't complain I wasn't warned. That dumbass move was presaged by my chat with Don, where he offered this important caveat having watched me call down a straight with mid pair: "For God's sake, be careful Iak!" Fuck, its so simple its brilliant. And clearly ignored not more then 30 minutes later. Don, are you still talking to me? Cause if you've decided I'm too much of a fucktard to live, I wouldn't blame you.

So what were the mitigating circumstances I referred to cryptically in the title? In no particular order:

1) It was my birthday. I tend to be a contemplate-your-mortality kind of guy every May 23, and this one was no different. 35. As in Dante's age when he wakes up and finds out God wants to walk him through hell for a quick once-through. Unsurprisingly, I like no big fuss made, and my dear girl knows that well, but decided we should have a cake nonetheless. For the kids. Oh - kay. Its hard to argue with a person who anticipates almost every need you have and tries to fulfill them before you even figure out how to articulate it. She's a good girl, and that means she gets her way more often than not, just the way the universe wants it. In addition she has had a very tough week - see the other blog if you're interested - and I wasn't going to say no to anything that might make her smile.

2) In addition to my kids being hopped up on cake and ice cream, my younger brother Cash (a great name for a poker player if ever there was one) who is a helluva good guy, stopped by after I gently told him I just wanted to chill (per annual rite) and play this tournament in peace and quiet. He showed up anyway. Ya gotta love him - he brought me 3 seasons of Millenium DVDs, a show I used to totally obsess over and like much better than anything I'm watching these days. 'Lost' has nothing on the texture and mood that Millenium had when it was really cracking... The point is, the entire time I was playing there was a fucking maelstrom of celebration going on all around -particularly during that hand with Jules. I know, I know, don't be a total tool and hide behind your wife and kids, you big douchebag. I won't.

Like a man, I'll blame my brother: that bastard insisted Jules was bluffing. When she crippled me, he kind of chuckled and muttered "...or maybe not." Happy Birthday? There's no such thing... Still like the DVDs man, thanks for that at least!

3) I was not running good today anyway, having taken 3 serious beats in a row, prior to the tournament - yet inscrutably I still felt today was the day I was going to go deep (shooting for top 15). It was not to be and I really have only my impulse control disorder (and my brother) to blame. When the universe is trying to talk to you, the sensible man shuts up. The coup de grace came later, but as cruel a birthday present as any Aussie Canuck has given me, my exit was still a badge of honor (see below).

And did you have fun?

Sure did, and the $11 was well spent since it allowed me to do this, to great acclaim even, in honor of Hoyazo - BTW what the hell happened to you man, by the time I got around to looking for your table, you were out. Aces cracked? Reverse Hoy backfire? Details no doubt to follow. This one was for you, brotha.

As bad as I was playing, even I put Jack on an 8, my only hope was to get Garth to call and chop a fairly juicy pot with Jack. To wit the Hoy did exactly what we all know it does - nullify your opponent's abilty to remove themselves from danger. I loved that SoxLover came in to observe the deployment - his comment had an almost mystical nature to it - the minute he said it, I knew Garth was gonna call.

Which he did.

You have to admire Garth, what a class act, finding time to pay tribute to the Hoy on the way out the door. Big Ups man, and as we are establishing with every passing day, there is no more shame in busting out to a Hoy then there is to a Hammer. ie. No Shame At All. See slide 5 for proof. I may not have won (haha), but I took no small satisfaction in demonstrating my Hoy aptitude. Some might argue it put me in a euphoria as deadly positive as tilt is deadly negative...


But as Wil no doubt could tell us, All Good Things...I've already told you what happened to most of my stack following my A River Runs Through It moment of grace. So, I got my tiny little stack in with what I thought should do the trick (Fucking Pokerstars did not give me option to Hoy, which I instantaneously knew meant that I was fucked...), but that hot Aussie Canuck (love the bullwhip) polished me off in fine style. Can't complain about it a bit.


Hammer Goot indeed Sires (stop by and say high so I can put your link in - you too SaintJack).

And that was my birthday. I learned from this that tilt is not possible when the house is full of people who may be distracting you, but only because they want to tell you they love you.

And buy you very cool shit. My girl got me a Bally's membership with a personal trainer to work with me during my semi-retirement this Summer. (I finish training in June, don't start the new job till October, so it should be great...). Underwear modelling here I come. Yeah right. On which note I say look out tomorrow at the Mookie, where I lock myself in a hermitically sealed tank and take that bad boy DOWN!

Or not. Later.