Intro to Hoy Deployment - the 286th rule to transform your game and your life

I know I run long in length at times (yeah, you know what I mean), so for this entry, I'll let the screenshots due the talking. I'd props the HammerPlayer for unleashing the power of this technology, but considering my last two entries are named after him, that should be plenty of recognition as it is...

Now anyone who has even skimmed this blog or gone up against me at the Mookie or WWdN knows I have little in the way to offer when it comes to plumbing the depths of Sklansky, Harrington or the like. However, I do consider myself a connoisseur of that recently developed Bunker Buster: The Hoy. I may actually be deploying this tool on a per hand basis more frequently than its creator. And to great effect. I would humbly direct your attention to the following textbook use of the Hoy in armed combat. In particular keep an eye on Casimodo and my Peri-Hoyian dialogue with him. I like to think of the chatbox as another weapon in my (admittedly bare) arsenal. It can be used to soothe and charm one player, it can be used to UltraTilt another - and sometimes you can accomplish both goals at the same time.

Without further ado:
Deploying the Hoy 101
[Of course, for the Advanced Course, see the HammerPlayer's recent post from WWdN Not, but the following should give the initiate an idea of what mayhem can be wrought by even a rookie.]

Note here that our friend Y Perch was ahead post-flop in the traditional sense of odds calculation. Of course once a Hoy has been invoked, you are already +EV regardless of the actual result - you just have to factor in the mental torture you have inflicted which will pay (BIG) dividends down the road. And almost equally reliable as the AJ/AQ riverfuck others have documented, I have delivered no less than 4 vicious beats on the river using the Hoy. Y took this one like a man (a trait far too rare on Stars as we all know) and eventually grew to admire the Hoy. I am sensing Gentile #2 in the making...

Now if you're not gonna Hoy with this hand, you better just pack it in, and go back to kiddie moves like continuation betting (whatever the fuck that is). This hand is bulletproof, if you have the balls to Hoy it like Shaft would (ie. right at two over cards). Note I have the opportunity to chat the flop at him - setting the table for major tiltage in short order. And guess what? I get called by Casimodo holding 66. What a dipshit. Who goes and calls a Hoy with 2 over cards showing? What's that? You say I'm behind in the hand thanks to his good read on me and my overplaying of my cards? mmmmm....you are just not listening. The Hoy is (mostly) bulletproof. You have my word on that.

Here is my expert mathematical analysis of my play and Casimodo's play. Wes and Don, I'll need you to back me up on this when you get a chance...

Dropping a Hoy = Manly. So Manly it ought to be an entry in the Alphabet of Manliness.

Calling a Hoy = Evidence you are a suicidally stupid sheep. And as a certain Gecko taught us: Sheep get sheared.

Now if that turn card didn't totally fuck Casimodo's shit up, he's a better man than me. But the Hoy and its mysterious outs-summoning cache is still poorly understood by even we Hoy aficionados. How the fuck is this sad little boy to know what he was messing with? Note below that he can't contain the rage...although he is trying to pass it off as nonchalance. Just needs a push [ of course I mean push - 1 ] in the right direction to get there...mmmmmm, how can I help? Ah yes: I taught him the official motto of Hoyatude. Now, I can't take credit for this pithy witticism, much as I 'd love too. iamhoff revealed the fundamental paradigm of Hoyian physics in the comments section of Hoyazo's last post. But I do take full credit for realizing genius where I find it.]

Okay, let me think...the day I got married....the birth of my kids (3)....watching this Hoy go off like a neutron bomb in Casimodo's lap, ensuring radioactive (if any) genitalia for years to come...

And then I decide to give him the poker clinic he so desperately deserves. [Yes its true I just bought my first three books on poker today - 6 months into things, but that is not the point. The only way to maximize Hoy utility is to open up your Post-Hoy chat something fierce, whether hypocritical or not. For the greater good if you will...]

But if you mis-speak, even in chat, you should be man enough to admit it. Which I am.

But why you ask, and fairly so, why would I not channel my energies on the difficult task of maintaining focus, mastering the considerable discipline to play tight/aggressive for seven levels, and make sure to cash? Because my friends, a properly executed Hoy will only assist you in all of those goals, while making the game itself infinitely more emotionally satisfying. For one thing, I don't even surf for porn while the Hoy is bombs-away. Can't afford the loss of a hand when I need to be chatting with the fury of Clubber Lang. Done right, you can get rid of one guy, and totally freak the rest of the table out for the remainder of the run. Bounce one guy with the Hoy, and it will be a wet day in Rome before someone calls you on your inevitable HammerHoy (that's obviously 72o from the blinds, all-in minus 1). God, how did I resist starting a poker blog for as long as I did? This shit is fun!

And for the short answer as to Why I Hoy? Check out Casimodo's insta-push all-in to a very suspicious 2BB raise from Mountain Fall (who had foot firmly to the accelerator with his raises the whole game through) and what Casimodos's limbically impaired, Hoy-induced tilt nets him.

Look at that board! Where is a Hammer when you need one? Now as cruel as this seems, I had to keep hazing him until he pulled an even more ill advised all-in and was bounced 2 hands later. And yes I couldn't resist one more Motto. Does that make me insensitive? Or does this new found addiction just make me nuts? Let's leave that rhetorical shall we? Later.