Is this it?...aka I briefly contemplate deleting the blog...aka certain people should be careful about badmouthing me - my Driver is watching them...

One last time into the breach as it were, before I learn what 100+ bloggers look like up close and personal - and spend the weekend fending off Waffles salacious double entendres.

I’d like to begin by stating the purpose of this post, in order to give it a clear direction. The purpose of this post is to recap some interesting things that have happened to either me, or people I know or read, in approximately the last ten days. I was too busy feeling sorry for my poor, tortured, over-worked, head-through-sphincter self for a period there to comment here on some noteworthy occurrences. Thus before I unplug to join with the HiveMind for the first time and receive new code from the Progenitor, I thought I’d correct the error.

To Wit, and in no particular order:

• Have I been doing this long enough to recommend somebody else’s blog without coming off as pretty damn presumptuous? Despite being an agoraphobic introvert, I’ll take the risk if it will get even one extra person to read Hacker’s vile character assassination of none other than I, dear reader. Written in the spirit of Thompson’s The Curse of Lono, it left me truly envious that I had not come up with it. What's that? You think I’m referring you to Hacker not to celebrate him, but simply because his post is all about me?

I’m hurt. And possibly busted. But it’s still funny as shit. And props to my hometown boy for taking down the jewel in the poker blogger MTT crown, The Mookie. I thought Chris looked dangerous from the shortstack, but it wasn’t to be. He’s got my vote for next week though, where I will finish an anemic 11th pushing with the powerhouse J7s.

• The truth is I did play live with Hacker and his gang in a terrific two-table tourney that had me figuring this is what playing the Big O must be like. Our host, a lean and easy-going guy named Terry has a great setup, and the guys where exactly the kind of characters who have made playing live a new priority for me. Dohar, Mailman, Chan, Gibron, Laslo, Jason – it was a pleasure. I would have told the story today, but Hacker’s fiction is far weirder than our reality, so as much I want to tell it now, I’ll leave my mini-trip report for another time.

• But there is a hand history I want to share with you: I busted holding the black kings UTG. My stack was 2100 and the blinds were 75/150 and I shot out 3BB hoping to find a caller. I had just pushed successfully the last hand and thought the table was set for a showdown with someone figuring I was FOS. I then got raised to 600 by an affable giant appropriately tagged Big Country. I have been in this situation 4 times in the last two weeks, felt sure he didn’t have two bullets, so sucked it up and pushed. He mulled and queried me from the long end of the table, while I just tried to pretend I was holding 4’s and send out that signal. Call, call, call. Country decided he had me covered easily and was getting 2:1 on his money, and so remarked, "this is not a great call, but I'm okay with it". He flipped JCc and agreeably stated, “just hoping I’ve got two live ones here, and I put you on a small to mid pocket pair”. I smiled, and mumbled “not so much”. The table hoots their approval for about the five seconds it takes for the flop to deliver two queens and send me home. Now while I like my play in this hand, from the point of view of the more important issue, ie. what was the result?, I hate the push and doubt I’ll ever do so again. As I learn and grow my roll, I keep telling myself what my mentor always preaches, “results, results, results…” One of these days I’ll get there.

• I miss Jules. Are you out there Darlin? Find a computer and let me know you’re still out there. Okay, I know that isn’t really an occurrence, but it’s funny because it’s true…(and yes, the New Yorker is stealing my ideas, Hoy)

• Is there an individual possessing a Y chromosome who hasn’t yet purchased the Alphabet of Manliness by Maddox? Even you think Maddox is an idiot, I guarantee you will laugh your ass off reading this thing. Hmmmm…that’s not an occurrence either? This post sort of sucks. But I can’t figure out why…

• One last thing: is deleting or pretending to delete your blog the new black? Cause if it is…no one told me. I’d have been more than happy to format these filings back to some semblance of normalcy. Just curious. In any case, welcome back Wes – I dedicate this post to you - can you tell? And Slb, what gives, brotha? It just ain’t the same without you. [clevah, clevah, no?]

Okay. Enough for now. I didn't get a chance to tell you what I think about the upcoming elections, or my World Cup picks (whatever the hell the World Cup is anyway - Soccer is for....well, you know). That's okay, I'll hit those next time.

Please visit my girl’s blog if you’d like to test yourself for erectile dysfunction. Melinda baby, I now know you read me and need me with the same faux-obsession I have for you. My next post is going to be all about you, princess, so stay tuned. And for fuck's sake, learn how to play poker, baby. There’s always a market for hot bisexual girls who can push hard on the turn. Tell BF I said hi, and remind him that sharing is caring.

Even Barney knows that.

Later.