Ill communication...aka A week spent beating Waffles like an unloved Persian rug
Alright, any hand that results in 20+ comments on the Villain's site, probably deserves a response from that local celebrity and all round good guy: Me. *
To start with, I never thought poker bloggers could be so fucking needlessly cruel. Mel is totally fucking right about you chumbobs. I should totally have listened when she warned me about this creep. But no, I stuck up for you guys and said nice things like "they're cool" and "they're not completely ghey".
And what do I get for giving you the benefit of the doubt? His Royal Poofiness, Sir Waffles (what the hell kind of name is that anyway - isn't that a guy in some dumb Greek myth or something?) puts up a post stating I am a total donkey and shouldn't be allowed to play the tourneys any more.
No surprise there, everyone whose anyone knows that he is a total douche and has been for years. That's why no one reads that piece of crap blog he's always pimping in the teen-tranny chitchatrooms he practically lives in.
Nope, no surprise at all.
What was a surprise is that all of the rest of you fuckers just pile on board and dump your vitriol on an innocent little introvert like me. I would link up that taint-hound Slb in particular here, but he's so ghey he doesn't even have a blog.
One word, Slb, and that one word is: UberBOO. 'Nuff said.
To the rest of you: well....UberBOO to you as well.
You guys win. I quit. No more Flights. No more poker. Who gives a fuck anyway - it's well known the poker boom is over...anyone starting to blog now would just be a poser showing up for a photo-op, all Governor Arnold-style. No sir, these eyes are jaded by the grim and somewhat flabby underbelly of the poker blogging glamorati. No more. Goodbye and good riddance.
The End.
________________________________________________________
Eh?
You say I've already committed to DADI and have about $90 in bets going? So....just not playing would be frowned upon, eh? Not cricket, as some would have it?
Very Well.
I will simply compose myself.
Collect my dignity.
And bravely (some might say heroically), carry on.
_______________________________________________________
Er...Greetings.
I read Waffles interesting take on that showdown the other day at The Knot. I was surprised it generated so much interest, but I take from the thoughtful and balanced responses that this hand really comes down to the finer points. I won't presume to provide a definitive statement on the play, but even in retrospect, I am definitely cool with it. Word to the wise: if we end up in a showdown at some point down the line, be aware I may do the same thing again. That decision will only make you happy about 5.4 times out of ten (assuming you're holding an overpair), so consider this distant early warning in advance of your push. Let's leave it an open issue that it's not simply how I manage my stack in that situation, but how you want to manage yours knowing this about me.
Now as good as Waffles' analysis is - and clearly all kidding aside he makes solid points as usual, which I'll address in a bit - he did leave a few important intangibles out of the tale. Since this is my vanity mirror we've all gathered around, allow me to treat you to a series of shots I simply call:
Waffles & Me.
ACT I: I like your girlfriend.
The Mookie. I will end up final tabling anemically, with no real chance to do damage, but still ITM when I bow out 8th of 57.
The real joy came earlier when sitting in the cutoff, and sitting beside the Lone GunMan himself, I get dealt his signature hand. I should explain that I have been experimenting with everyone's favorite hands lately - just to keep myself entertained, and see if I can reek some havoc along the way. It's been working like a rabbit foot: my favourite was the PrestoHoy I posted recently, which earned me props from Fuel after the fact.
But at the Mookie I was given a rare opportunity to play the powerhouse that is 53o in front of the guy who makes love to her whenever he can. I raise 3BB preflop, get called by the big blind and Waffles too I believe. Flop looks as disconnected as a prom queen discovering she got herpes from the time she grudge humped the president of the AV Club. Tres appropos, it's Film Geek, who seems to know Waffles, who bets an anemic 75 into a pot of 180 - which screams to me, "hey I just caught a piece of this, so please fuck off." [The fact that I will make this same error in The Hand With Waffles is what some of us call dramatic foreshadowing.] Waffles folds and its to me. But here's the thing: I just caught the ass-end of Raggedy-Ann too. So, with Waffles looking on, and getting in cheap, I decide to see if I can double through my new friend for all of 75 pesos. Good call? Meh, not if I don't find one of 7 outs. But sure enough a turn 5 sets the table for me turning a tiny pot into this monster. The beauty is I get him to push into me with what is pretty obviously TP or an overpair he's slow-playing:
GODDAMMIT BLOGGER: THIS POST HAS ALREADY TAKEN FOUR HOURS AND YOU'VE FUCKED IT OVER TWICE! WHY WON'T YOU UPLOAD THIS FANTASTIC SCREENSHOT!!
Screw it: I'll make you a drawing - I'll assume you all have IQ's in the 120-150 range and can visualize a pokerstars table without getting a headache. Here we go.
FUCK! IT WON'T EVEN LET ME MAKE A DRAWING! JOPKE! I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO!
Fine. A Trisomic doodle then:
Film Geek: JcKd
Hero (a guy who despite clearly being entitled to, is far too modest to refer himself as such): 3s5d
Also present: Kat, Garth, Rocco, Fishy, Texas Kathy, wesmotv, Waffles (as in: With Envy)
Flop 8d Js 3d
Turn 5h
Rivah Ac = home free for a pot that ships me 2335 and leaves Geek with 350 to diddle with.
Yep...sure glad that was KJ he was holding and not AJ or slowplayed bullets. Heh.
Our new friend is T I L T E D. The usual poker clinic follows...you know, "Nice call...53o, good choice to play...keep playing that stuff..." Seriously dude, you are at a blogger tourney - ie. you are surrounded by WRITERS. If you're gonna put something in the chat window to vent your spleen, at least impress people with your intelligence, wry wit or singular use of the word taint-hound (yes, I am still referring to you Slb - and I did respond to your email brotha, I swear). This doodle actually directly reinforces something Hoy recently posted on. He pointed out just how costly donking away chips here and there can get, and this is a classic example. This dude should be done like Monday's pot roast on Thursday night. But because I didn't have the chips I couldn't finish him off with this stackilicious hand. I did get him a few hands later, and got the distinct impression he hated my guts.
Ah well - stultum est queri de adversis, ubi culpa est tua.
Seriously, can you play 53o any better than that? Nope. But oddly, I could feel Waffles fuming - nay, seething - at the fact that I had taken his girl for a walk, ravished her hard and rough in the park beside his house, then refused to walk her home. So that, my friends, was the true beginning of The Hand heard round the 'sphere. But just the begining...
ACT II: Dude, she's with me, OK? She doesn't like you like that, so don't make this creepy.
I play suited connectors from the big blind to a small raise from our hapless Villain, who is dry-humping the closest thing to a monster he's seen in a while. Flop pretends to dig him, but she's just using him for help with Comp Sci, while hand-jobbing me in the library stalls. Waffles finds out the hard way here just how much the Mookie (the tourney, not good-natured, sun-drenched Host of Note) wants to be my girl. And he goes home seething. He knows better (at least he did know better) than to call me out by name when he posts on it, but our boy is R E D H O T and looking for justice.
Yep, I know he failed to mention any of that, but don't think ill of him; I'm sure this rage wasn't operating on a conscious level. As the son of a psychiatrist and a guy who spends his whole day talking to people about their personal histories, I am well trained to look deep, deep into the soul. So forgive him, for giving you an incomplete picture. After all, I am here to help. And whatever I say about any of your unconscious motivations from now on stands.
How bad did Waffles fall for my Wednesday aftenoon tug-chick?
Pretty Goddammed Hard. That's right; that is none other than your hero (and mine) busting our boy right the fuck out of there. And not on some junk uniformed push - he goes out knowing he ignored my reraise postflop after I made the tough call on his push. Sound familiar? sure he had chips left over the second time this happens to him, but the point is: Waffles tells you he hated me calling him there and insists it wasn't tilt but instead the following rational reasons....I'll channel Jordan here and let You Decide if that doesn't sound like a sack of ass. C'mon America, Bernie Mac knows bettah and so do you.
More proof? Stay tuned.
Act III: Don't check the turn if you think I haven't got shit.
Here's me conducting a Hammer clinic for Waffles, weakened only by the fact I did it with the considerable advantage of late position. Rasie pre-flop. Call the weak flop bet (see, I'm not the only one who bets indecisively from time to time). Check to his incontinent turn check, all too certain our friend is sitting on two high cards (or better 53o!). And Voila! as my 2 year old daughter loves to say; river makes a straight [in case anyone was wondering what sight these tournaments are played on]. So I bet at it weakly myself (in retrospect maybe an overbet for value would have spared us all a lot of grief) in the hopes our man in Amsterdam will pay to play. Credit where credit is due - he manages to see his junk ain't gonna get it done and gets out of the way. And I show that Hammer off, letting the Waffle crispen nicely on the underside - just the way I like 'em. Again, this is the beginning of the tournament that led to the Hand. So this wasn't far from the mind of a guy we all know has had his nads paddled by 2 and 3 outers for a week or so. He was just waiting to release that pent up, over pressurized Waffle batter, when I stepped up to the plate and decided to charge the mound instead.
Aside: For those of you thinking I am alone in perseverating on this - the Waffle and I just finished a discussion at 2am on girly chat that began with us rehashing it on his introduction - the Hand has a life all its own now, and will likely be the focus of a new chapter in Phil Gordon's new opus: The Slightly Littler, Slightly Greener Book.
Which now brings us to The Hand Itself.
Act IV: There is no wrong decision as long as you have considered all outcomes of an action and can live with the consequences. Peace of mind makes for a dangerous man.
An analysis of my game these days: I am a becoming a competent player with a familiarity and/or grasp on most (but not all) of the fundamentals of NLHE. I am now comfortable playing the blogger MTTs. Lately, sticking to a very particular kind of strategy, I have been pretty successful. Since June 1, it's been a 3rd at Mookie, a 7th at WWdN, a 2nd at MATH, and an 8th at Mookie - all ITM. Yeah, this is likely just a micro-heater - a toaster oven, or thermos even - but whatever it is, it set the table for me to make the final 7 of The Knot. [Darval my friend, consider making this K official - it gives the whole tournament an S&M/B&D edge we should all be enriched by. My 0.02] So that's five close to the ring finishes in 22 days. But here's the thing: I looked at how I played those tournaments and felt there was a fundamental flaw in my approach to them. My game was lacking about two gears. I could hobble past players bolder and more inventive than I when landmines exploded in their faces, by simply standing to the side. The strategy worked because it was balanced by a willingness to mix it up if I really had the goods. The proof of that was seen at WWdN recently, where I was mauled badly while trying to play Cowoys and Indians (that's KK followed by AA, newly minted just for you BD).
So I showed up at the Knot, with a specific goal - to amass a chip lead entering the endgame that would compensate for my lack of heads-up experience and the likelihood the opponent would be a better NLHE player. That may sound ridiculous, arrogant even, but hey we're friends and it is my space so I 'm just being honest. I didn't think it was a given I could even get HU, but this time if I did, I didn't want another fiasco like the 9:1 domination cc had over me at MATH. [By the way cc - saw your piece in Truckin' and really liked it; read like a thundercloud figuring to burst.]
That, for anyone bored enough to still be reading, is the complete preamble to the Hand, and has a lot more to do with how Waffles (seething with rage at prior humiliations dealt him by this no-name newcomer) and I (flush with recent success and hungry for an actual victory to establish some credibility) played that hand.
LEVEL 3 at least beee-atches. Leh-Vuhl Trois/Tres/Theen. Wes, you got my back on this one?
But what's my take on the Hand? Could I improve on my play in hindsight? No way man - I won and that means I was right, you backyard 'tards! Just ask anyone playing micro-limits online, they'll corroborate that, sure as shit.
But of course, I did bobble the ball.
Not fumble completely, just bobble it. And here is where the strength of blogging about hands comes in...the feedback can be very fucking helpful. I read and thought about what everyone posted and came to this conclusion: Next time there, if I want to gamble (and be clear, with two half-hearted final table appearances that week, I wanted to win, not place, and was willing to lose in trying to win) I push post-flop. Duggle, DP, Smokkee, BD and Don seemed to understand best where I was coming from psychologically. Slb, as I may have mentioned previously is merely a taint-hound, without a spot on the 'sphere from which to launch a counter-attack; ie. a sitting duck. The uniform consensus that the 750 post-flop bet was simply too weak to accomplish what I wanted it too was helpful. And to be fair, even our lovable Pom-Pom suggested the same thing. So I botched my post-flop play, and because I am reasonably trainable, I should ideally learn from this and be that much more dangerous next time around. Let's hope so anyway; Wes could fill an encyclopedia with the names of the retards he makes a living off of who have yet to get a clue.
But as to the call, which is really a separate issue, I still see nothing wrong with looking at the Hand post-flop Waffles and saying, "Yep, this is a hill I am willing to die on." Four months ago, I couldn't have done it because I would have been intimidated by the idea that all you guys would think I'm an idiot. Now that I know you guys, I no longer sweat that. And as a result I am willing to chase the win if I think it's close.
Waffles didn't like my play for the following reasons, and I quote:
1. He is at the final table. Four to the money. He has a time investment here.
2. The blinds are 75/150. If he folds here he has over 3K in chips. That is PLENTY.
3. If he does not catch a card in this race he is out. Cya. Bye Bye.
4. If he had pushed instead of making a wimpy bet I would have respected this play alot more.
Let me address them in order:
1. Think I've gone over this to death. MATH: 2nd but not even close, Mookie 8th: but not even close. In the same week. Simply making the final table wasn't the point. The money? Are any of us really worried about the Bubble from an hourly rate point of view? Of course not, what bugs us in bubbling is the loss of an opportunity to deny Waffles, Hoy, Smokkee or Surf a win. And frankly, I get my time investment paid in full by the entertainment value implicit in hanging out with this odd assortment of over-educated, highly opinionated cranks and wanks. So let me explain - no, there is not time! - let me sum up: I had no fear in losing the hand when I knew I had to be very close to 50:50 on it, which you'll admit I was. Waffles gave me 3:1 on a coinflip after I had committed a bunch already (an admitted mistake). How was I not going to call here? Ideally I'd play the flop differently, but if I didn't, I'd make that call again - it was the corrective action.
2. The blinds are low and my M looks good. I can afford the fold. True. But I was already thinking downfield, willing to lose trying to get there, and wanting to amass the stack well in advance of the blinds. I have been playing plenty of kiddie-poker, including the bet that resulted in the push - so the call was all about whether I wanted to really take a chance on going big.
3. I might lose. So what? I've had a good week with the broggers. No complaints if I do get shipped. But what if I don't?
4. I completely agree and have learned that lesson well. Stay tuned, my delicious little blueberry breakfast treat, stay tuned...
And since you probably want to know what it was that had our boy reeling for ten minutes, here's what it looked like:
So there you have it friends. The fact that Waffles completely decompensated on me after this hand was really far more than it appeared, which is why I have been so indulgent.
Until now.
However, let this post be a warning. Anyone spending more than one line or so on my poor play or overall insufficiencies from now on will be the expectant victim of 4 - 5000 words next time I put digits to keys. Deterrance, Slb, it's all about deterrance...
And from there I dominated. I had eaten a chunk of Waffles stack and used it like a Namibian warlog to pummel JJ, Surf, Kat, D and an unrecognized friend (djhomeschool). I dispatched them all then proceeded to undress Waffles HeadsUp to claim my first (of many no doubt) WWdN: The (K)Not.
Or Not.
Because there's actually a second lesson, a better lesson in that hand, that was of use to me and may be of use to some of you. For although Waffles was pretty tilted and really started to express it, I was no better off despite having won. Having made a tough call based on downfield strategy and value for the bet, placed him on close to the exact hand he showed; I was thinking QQ, then had my call rewarded - well, I was experiencing a kind of euphoria. I was truly elated. And in that state began to mix it up with Waffles in the chat, defending my position, expounding on it, all the while convinced that because I wasn't angry, I must be OK. Not so much it turns out.
Now some of you may remmber that I once made a joke at the book The Tao of Poker's expense. In actuality, it's a great and easy read, and puts little poker soundbites into your head to mull over. One of them addresses the dangers of exactly this anti-tilt euphoria and the importance of remaining balanced at the table.
How true and how wise... In less than ten hands I donked off the entire stack of Waffles' chips I had been willing to risk an early exit for. By the time I figured out why my game had loosened up ridiculously it was too late. They were gone, and I was at the back of the line again. Fuck. But ah well. Lesson learned - great and famous last words if ever there were any. I do vow to try and not mix it up like that in chat Evah Again though. I'll save my smacktalk for when I Hoy someone and can control the ebb and flow of the trash.
But I wasn't dead yet. I just needed to regroup so I could mount another assault on Waffles' perenially vulnerable and juicy big stack. This hand was my last crack at them, and I think in honor of a table-mate I can introduce them succintly:
And that friends, is what it takes for Waffles to beat me these days. Fair enough. You all remember what England looked like circa 1950? All bloated fat guys with cigars, and lumpy women with bad teeth? uh -huh. It's the Beginning of the End, my carbohydrate-laden Crumpet, the beginning of the end. It's America's turn now Waffles...and she is Me (excepting of course the fact that I am A) male and B) Fiercely Canadian, but you get the idea).
Mmmmmm? What? Well, yes, that's only fair to note, Waffles did actually go on to win that tourney (albiet with my chips - to paraphrase Hoyazo; it shoulda been me, you bastard!) so maybe the empire ain't over just yet. But even the British with their death-with-wings Harrier Jump Jets managed to win the Fauklands "War" right before Maggy gave up the ghost, so it's all contextual anyway.
Whatever. No one reads poker blogs anymore anyway.
Actually, fuck that. If you made it all the way down here you had better leave a comment. That's right, you read that right, I am threatening you. This monstrosity didn't just create itself. And I only learned after the fact that it's an imbecile who tries to compose something this big in Blogger when they can simply cut and paste from Word. So yeah, this has been a big chunk of my free time eaten in the pursuit of laying this masterpiece before you insatiable, unruly, and mostly unwashed masses. All I, your humble content provider, asks is that you take 5 fucking minutes and tell me what a fucking stud I am. So do it. That's right, just do it. You'll thank me later.
Let's be clear: there will be no followup to this opus until we cross the 40 comment barrier my friends, so you better get cracking. I have deregulated comments so anyone can comment here, but I still refuse to count bots. I am looking for 40 passably sentient, non-mouth breathing individuals to get in line and get it done.
As of now, I am on a post-fast, and I clearly hear God (well, it could be my fed-up wife) calling me home, a place I've been avoiding like the plague for the last four days to bring you this.
Later.
* Anyone unable to discern a glossus placed firmly between buccinators should probably stop reading right now. And as always, PFO. Thanks for stopping by.
posted by Iakaris aka I.A.K. at 4:07 PM
39 Comments:
I think I lost 5 IQ points reading that.. And you know I need every one! Good luck man. You know me. You know I will spend every tourney from now until eternity making you pay for that suckout. Waffles dont like to get burnt!
Maybe Melinda can give you some poker tips. She sure as hell does not have a grasp of the English language.
As a confirmed mouth breather evident by the daily, nearly drowning wake-up, awashed in a puddled jolly rancher red hot saliva mix, unfortunately my comment does not meet the criteria for comment quota. Right Carmen?
If nothing else this might serve as the fuel to force SLB from lurker to retorter, albeit from his hopeful soon-to-be started blog.
As for the tale, excellent work my friend, a brilliant tragedy, especially with such a disliked villian as Sir Waffles, who somehow managed to take a spear to the heart, yet was somehow still able to unwittingly suckout ending the hopes and dreams of our esteemed hero, who died a death with dignity.
So in what has become the all to predictable ending of many a battle waged at Stars: Homo semper aliud, Fortuna aliud cogitat.
Hey Iak,
Thanks for mentioning me multiple times in your post. I totally defend my comments on Waffles' blog even though I've only been playing poker for $ less than a year now. It was nice to see you try to critcize a n00b, but I'm happy with trying to defend my Thursday night title in the WWdN and having a great player like Waffles de-throne me. Also, it was nice to see so many of the bloggers post me on how my second place, yet "great HU", play in the Mookie against surflexus was such a great watch. I'll take some notes on my bad play and bad analysis of hands and tourney play. Maybe you'll do better next time, but...in my opinion, you're still a donkey, especially for your waste of like 6 pages of blogging. Nice try. Maybe I know now why I don't blog.
slb159
So let me get this straight - he had an overpair, re-raised you to all-in with just that pair and no draw. He flat called the pre-flop bet when he was 67%. You had an overcard and nut flush draw for 12 outs, making you 46% to win after the flop. The turn ... well, that made you 100%. It was a coin flip and you called his push. Part of poker is that you are playing PEOPLE, not robots. People make moves that may not be mathematically correct because we add other factors - the way someone acts, tells, whether we feel like risking it, gut instinct, etc. This is why poker is both fun and frustrating. If everyone played solely according to the math, poker wouldn't be challenging in the slightest and we would know, based on math, who would win. Limpers hit flops. Raisers don't. I called a pre-flop all-in bluff the other night from a guy holding 7-6o who caught a boat by the turn to crack my pocket aces. That's poker. Deal with it.
--Puckett
OK this one does NOT count in the 40. And for the record, its 40 individuals. Once you've posted, feel free to ignore the melee or jump in as often as you want, but you only get counted once.
I am being forced to comment just so that Slb knows I was just fucking around in the vague hope he'd get a chuckle out of a pseudo-call out...Look, FWIW, you're totally solid dude, we all know that, just a little thin-skinned apparently. You weren't seriously being criticized, and you can't get much n00bier than I, so c'mon, what the fuck do you care what I say about anything? For the record I was one of those extolling your play agains Surf if you recall.
And as for my six pages - yup, I clearly have a disease...but you read it 30 minutes after I put it up, so that probably means something too! All cool? Hope so, but ya know my family motto: F'EITCTAJ.
And of course, since you don't blog yet, feel free to post your entire poker playing resume on MY yard anytime you'd like. Waffles is probably cringing-by-association, on that one, but it's all good.
Hi Iak,
Great post yet again....i think i will stop saying that and you can take it as read from now on!!
I am torn between the point Waffles makes regarding the blind level and the amount of chips you would have had left had you folded and the decision you ultimatly took.
I am also trying to ensure i have enough chips to make a run for the big prizes rather than just limp home in the last cash paying spot. But i think i would have folded to waffles all-in on that occasion.
Having said that i would probably have bet the pot on the flop and not the 750 you put in, so maybe i would have called.
Too many variables to consider now....im going for a lie down.
I read the whole thing! Or most of it at least. I was 3/4 of the way through before I finally realized it wasn't a Melinda post and felt compelled to continue with the finish line so close. Fun stuff!
as you said, you botched the flop but, it really didn't matter. you're chips were going in on that flop. waffles had a pair, that's it. he wuz a slight favorite, it was almost a coin flip. you not gonna win many tourneys unless you're willing to risk your life more than a few times along the way.
excellent post.
My. Head. Hurts.
Iak, you have a helluva gift for storytelling. Maybe Melinda should come and play poker and you go teach her classes. Oh wait, she quit! And besides, her gheigh pimp, I mean boyfriend, said that poker players are all meatballs in gravy, or something like that.
In honor of this compelling example of largesse, I present the Hoy, Iak-style (or Iak-hoy). You drop the hoy and then spend the entire time your opponent is contemplating the call, typing in the girlie chat window. Whaddaya think? I think you should try it out, next chance you get.
On a side note, when I've had problems with blogger not accepting photos, I save the post as a draft and then reopen it under the "edit posts" tab. That seems to clear up their temp cache to allow photos to upload.
All right...we're looking good...I'm liking my chances of coming out of retirement by Friday.
I already have the followup post lined up - my first online cash game, which reads like a dream table including none other than Scott McMillan and The Blogfather! Holy Fuck was that fun. Seriously, everyone there kept saying the same thing the whole time.
Teaser: Waffles, that inherently lucky fuck, gets it going by stacking me early...but that's just the beginning...
Thirsty, always great to hear from ya brotha - and I can't argue with that take on things a bit.
Floppy, welcome to the shop, tell your friends they're welcome too. You win the award for Comment of the Month! [Although Slb was an early favorite for entirely different reasons!] I hadn't thought of them specifically as such, but you're right - I now have a subset of posts I will be calling the Melinda Posts from now on. Nice. BTW, someone go clue Bloody P into the joke...
Smokkee, appreciate the insights. Calling can't be that far off if you're cool with it.
Hoff, well glad to see ya brotha. I like it and rest assured I am going to ratchet up my shit-talk while hoying just to let me hunker down when actually playing!
I'm sorry, what were we talking about. Is this poker or the WWF?
Wow - that was a long post. You should really consider yourself fortunate that I read the WHOLE thing, because quite honestly, when I see a really long post, I usually skip over it and move onto the next smaller post. But, alas, I like you and your a pretty damn good writer, so I invested the time and read the whole damn thing. I'm sorry that waffles beat you. JJ is my nemesis hand. It has cost me a lot of money in the past. It has also won me a lot of money too.
Who the fuck is this Melinda chick that you guys keep talking about? I'm so out of the loop. I guess I'm gonna have to find out who she is cause she's been linked in about the past 10 blogs that I've read today.
Don't get me started on Don's saliva problem. EVERY freakin morning I find pink juice all over the bed from his drool. It's so gross!!
It's funny to hear that I'm a "keeper". Back in day, nobody ever called me a "keeper". I was a party girl, a club girl, the girl that knew where to have fun and what club to go to and where the nicest VIP rooms were. Definitely not a "keeper". hehe
Okay, I found out who Melinda is and I couldn't resist leaving a message. Go find some more fun blogs for us to invade!! Poker is for faggots anyway :)
haha IAK i am so confused on what the hell this post is about that i just stared reading the comments to figure it and it has now confused me futher....poker is for faggots anyways...lol
Iak,
We need you playing... I think you don't realize that Waffles is only *now* at that tilt point where you can push him around all day long!
As a fellow Canadian you really are making us proud. We should get a Canadian team together for the DADI to outlast the teams that they have assembled.
Do we get a free set of dishes for responding to this post, Iak?
Eric: Waffle and Me = D/X ReDux... cage match to follow...
Carmen: genuinely pleased ANYONE would make it all the way down, let alone everyone's favorite poker girl (well maybe 2nd to Mel, but only Mel)
Rav: if I have no idea what any of these posts are about...why should you? Poker is For Faggots is the name of my next poker blog...
Guin: flattered you would want after I spent a book chapter proving I don't how to bet the flop! thanks. sadly, I asked BD and Fuel already. We are 67% Canuck, but what could have been...
PJ: did I not make that clear? Yeah, free steak knives for the 41st individual commenter. Also a prize for the Most Unusual Contribution...Floppy, Slb and Don are in a dead heat, with the edge to Floppy for formalizing the idea of MelindaPosts...btw next one is dedicated to her (after Waffles, my favorite obsession)
I'm pretty sure I have nothing to add. The comments on this post alone contain more words than my entire last week's worth of posting.
I think Iggy needs to get off his ass and post, because this byatch was uber, and we can'tbe having folks treading in the midget pocahontas's territory.
Nice job, Iak.
I should clarify something...I really admire your writing style, and your blog is perfect for the art form, if you want to call it that. In fact, I laughed at the last post. I'll link you because I admire unique voices...I'm known for that in my newspaper writing, even if my blog probably doesn't reflect that. I just think sometimes too much of it is, well, too much, yah know?
I look forward to more posts from you.
Sounds like I missed quite the game there, I need to start hitting up more of the blogger tourneys ;-)
Oh, and Iak, there is an add-on for Word here on the Blogger site. It will add a Publish button to the toolbar in Word so you don't even need to open up Blogger to post.
unrelated to this freakin marathon post....
i posted a combined team challenge for DADI. don't donk.
www.smokkee.blogspot.com
I like your new banner.
Quite the entertaining post. Unfortunately, somone seems to have either missed the Internet 101 class, or relishes in the thought that everyone who reads the post will see everything around them in yellow for the next ten minutes. Judging by the content of the post though, I would think it is probably the latter. At least I will be laughing as I make my way optometrist to see if there has been any irreparable damage done to my retinas.
My ultra post-modern experiment to move my entire blog into my Comments section proceeds unimpeded. Innovator? Yes. Insane? That too.
For all you lurkers...no one is saying you have to say anything nice, or even witty (Waffles comments after all). Nope, just stand up and be counted (I am specifically talking to the dude in Iceland who came by recently - I was just there (last year) and could have used a friend...Lets meet folks, lets meet
But we're up to 18 so nearly halfway to the goal-line. Still no BlogFather, DoubleAs, Pauly, Huge Junk, Change or Speaker yet, eh? Must be holding out for the Henkle steak knives. Ah well, those of us in the shallow end of the gene pool will just keep toiling happily in deserved obscurity...
To wit:
Sir John (Falstaff, for those of you who've never read Will): please do send the Progenitor along; we're all looking for meaning in our lives, and that would fit the bill for this fine afternoon. I'll be seeing HenryIV at Stratford this year, should be good.
Peak: very kind of you to clarify - I took no offense at all, on the contrary I agree wholeheartedly, but we're all victims of our impulse control in the end.
Chris: Welcome. You join the illustrious list of Don, Hoy, Trip, Wes and a few others (ie. anyone but the Waffle) as someone who has taught me something useful through this blog. Will add that much needed button shortly.
Smokkee: it's on baby.
IT
IS
ON.
And FYI Smokes, ya don't need to tell me your site, I read you everyday and have you linked on the side under: Friday's Game (though I am going to come up with something cooler once you win a bracelet).
Trip: I need your help. Some homophobe is messing with banner - I have reason to believe he may be in Korea ball gagging a JapaHapa as we speak...
Donnie: Fuck would I love to take credit for some kind of third order optical illusion, but I have no clue what you're talking about. You, better explain this to me because ask Trip - what I know about blogging and the internet is mostly related to porn downloads and Korean blog infestation...
hahhha love the addition to the new banner...
This really isn't for you Iak. I'm just stalking Shadowtwin because he doesn't ride motorcycles and it tilts him when you ask him what kind of bike he rides. Just kidding. I want my day back that I spent reading your post and the comments. Mrs. Hoover, my brain is full.
I started reading this post at noon. It is now 4pm. I'm spent.
Funnier than hell, as always, my friend.
Killer banner, too.
Word to tha bird turd,
BP
It was actually an optical illusion that I was referring to. It went around through email a couple of years ago. It was a black screen with a white dot that would flash around it in a circular pattern. After looking at it for thirty seconds or so, your eyes would start to see yellow "ghost dots" that weren't really there. The same thing started to happen to my eyes part way through that post. I have since made a full recovery.
And no, I don't have a friggin motorcycle! Jesus Christ why does everyone keep asking me that?!!
A more accurate phrase has never been coined....Poker IS for faggots!!
Man, you are pretty pissed off. Sweet post and screenshots.
Okay, after clicking through a link to this site, I must officially apologize for making the "irreparable damage to my retinas" comment. I mean, Jesus, that girl's site gives tubcat a run for its money, and tubcat was meant to be a parody (I think).
Hell of a post, Iak.
There's only one problem.
You're still Canadian.
(I keed! I keed!)
Personally, all of the hullabaloo that this caused over on Waffle's blog makes me want to set him up even more so he explodes on a regular basis. He's always been a tiltmonster and he always will be. His style is so aggressive that if things don't do well for him, he goes out pretty early (like he has been constantly for the past few weeks) and the combo of that and his tilt-o-meter is pretty juicy.
Keep on, keepin' on, my good man.
I think I have scored more often than you PokerDonkey wanna be Wolf. Bah.
Rav - knew you would...Trip as always gets the credit. BTW...you should start playing the blogger tourneys, even once a week. Would be good to see ya out there.
Brain: like the bike, have you seen Shadowtwin's? it's unreal. No, I mean literally it is not real...
P: good to know you're still alive...can't believe you missed the opportunity to send Mel your love! You are absolutely right, we are all comment sluts. Which after this little marathon makes me the augmented prom queen with low esteem and a dad who's really fond of her...
Donnie: me hapa you lika my Mela
Thirsty: Remember this: years from now when "Poker is For Faggots Anyways" is an accepted blogger greeting - YOU started all this!
Anonymous: er...the whole point of remodelling my comments was to bring you lurkers out of the dark...but nice to see you anyway. And for the record, all the time wasting bullshit that passes for my posts is entirely in jest (at least it made me smile writing it, and that's all i can really ask for). But glad you liked it.
Andrew: well you're famous now...but you didn't win the steak knives, I'm sorry to say.
Wolf: Good ta see ya as always. As for Waffles, well he's an entity too unique to easily categorize. Should I predict a WSOP cash someday for our boy that will have all of bloggerdom forced to kneel at the throne? Maybe not just yet...
And to the Man himself: welcome back. how did 80/160 go? I am worried about this post-faux-relationship breakup funk and the toll its taking on you and I. We nevah just talk anymore...
Poker Update: Blogger Tourneys: 0/3 this week - no races won, and StB but a beat on me I may never recover from. Who's kidding who, I was never even close this week. I suck. Cash games: got stacked by set over set playing aggressively but not insanely - D has put up with my navel gazing ad nauseum on this one which basically comes down to - WTF?! So back of the line again, with adequate proof I still suck and the toaster oven is officially over. Fuck. Just Fuck. Ah well, 2 more days to freedom.
One last observation:
This has been a surprisingly enjoyable and effective way to blog - one big post about absolutely nothing in particular and then spend the rest of the week bobbing through the feedback, bullshitting with anyone who stops by. Sort of like archival instant messaging. So thanks to all who stopped by...we got up to 23 (i think) independent voices not including repeats and me, which is pretty good considering the limited number of people are even aware of this site. I had no idea how ridiculously unrealistic 40 comments would be when I first postulated it, but not a bad run.
Still didn't get to meet the dude from Iceland, the one from Brazil, or the West Coast Aussies...which was the secret goal of all this, but what're ya gonna do? I tried.
Anyway, I'm getting restless, so I am letting myself off the hook this Friday and gonna get back to my main page soon. Feel free to show up before then and see if we can mail out those steak knives after all. If you happen to be the dude from Iceland, Brazil or the West Coast Aussies - this freeloading Canuck who loves to travel wants to talk to you.
GL at DADI everyone. And seriously, if you haven't signed up...this is looking to be the Motha of All Blogger Showdowns, so get in gear and sign up. Later,
Am I going to have to leave 6 more comments so that you will start blogging again?????????
Thanks for making it out to the tourney last night Iak. See you at the DADI
Iak,
I just left Melinda a comment, which I'm sure she'll delete.
Oh well, it was fun writing it. Check it while you can.
Hey,
Thanks for your comments. I'll check out your beginning posts so look at how you played with your bankroll. Like the layout of your blog. Very creative. I'm guessing your beef with some of the other bloggers is just for fun? Maybe not.
This is comment 40.
Stop prancing around like a faggot and get posting again!
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