In praise of good results...aka I got jobbed but made some dough anyway...aka I am FTP's abused trophy wife
Time for today's riddle:
Who won this hand?
Answer:
It took me 45 seconds to figure out why these chips were not heading towards me and, with just 11 people left, guaranteeing my final table appearance in the FTP 20k!
45 seconds. In all seriousness, I have made life and death calls in less time than that. So what occurred in the hallowed vault that is my cranium while an Edomite Hell was being wrought?
After careful recollection, I believe my thoughts read as something close to the following:
Yeah! FUCK Yeah! Fucking great push! You mothafuckin' biotch! Knew that pre-flop raise was shit! KNEW my Ace was gonna bend you over the table and give you a buttermilk enema! Gimme my chips you whore-monger! That's right biotch, get 'em up 'n ovah heyah! Huh? What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!? There's been a computah error! It thinks that mothafuckah made a flush! HE ONLY HAS ONE FUCKING HEART YOU GODDAMNED STUPID FUCKING POKER MACHINE!!!!! TRIP ACES BEAT K high!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Then Rav calmly explained, that yeah, I had to push with my miniscule M, and yeah I looked good preflop, was obscenely ahead PostFlop, and German Snuff Film obscenely ahead post Turn. But post-rivah - we were left with undeniable if ugly fact that a straight still beats three bullets.
Online poker is rigged. Just slightly less so than live. At least that's what D and JJ tell me.
Whatevah.
This is actually a good news post. I finished 11th out of 1037 playah's in the 20k. For the second night in a row, I built a big stack without a single suckout. And for the second night in a row, it took someone getting very fortunate to do me in. I realize now that's likely to be the case because my style is loose to the flop, but I only commit my stack if I am goddamned sure I have a lock. [Blogger tourneys exempted from this highly self-serving assessment.] Rav's Ace and Tracker assessments had me laughing out loud at what a nut I must look like to the table, but I'm loathe to change much with things running so well right now. Laytah, definitely.
I do have to acknowledge Raveen's absolutely critical role in this push. Our boy is a bona fide stone cold cash game killah, and he sweated me in the girly chat. He actually loaded yahooIM specifically so he could hang with the bloggers after the Mookie, and play cash games with D, Waffles, JJ and the gang. If you for some reason frequent this site, but don't read Rav, can I do you a favor and insist you pick his over here any day. Rav is the real deal. One hand in particular I would have played very differently and probably lost, but had the brains to trust his great advice. Midgame, I tried to steal but got called to a flop out of position against a mid size stack. I found a match for my weak 6, but also an over card. I bet 3/4 and was quickly called. A K hit the turn and he checked, so I followed suit. We reach the river blank and he checks. I have been playing with this guy a while and put him on a weak jack or 77-TT. I am cooked. I am contemplating trying to push him off with maybe a half pot river bet, when Rav types: Put this guy all-in. Do it. He will fold.
I dunno why, but when he wrote it, I recognized he was absolutely right. In truth, I had briefly considered it and rejected it as suicidal. I have weak 6's, I want this hand over. But Rav's take was, you're weak but so is he. This is winnable. Without discussion I shoved 30k of hard fucking work into the middle. Rav noted calmly: nh...it's over.
My opponent mulled briefly then typed in the chat: okay...this one time. And a hand I had no business taking to war won me a pot and a shitload of table respect. For those of you who don't know Rav, he plays at limits most of us won't get to. So having him in my corner (and he stayed till the bitter end, helping me with pot odds and M) was a major advantage. Thanks, brotha. Still hoping to see ya in Vegas next week, so don't disappoint!
On that note, Don, Waffles, Kat and Slb have been real friends and hung with me on several of these late nighters. I do appreciate it. In fact, God bless you. And I mean that in a completely non-denominational way which may or may not refer to a single ominscient sexless deity looking over all (or just a few) of us. And Thanks. It was also very cool to see the HammerPlayer stop by, because as I may have mentioned, most of my interest and large chunks of my situational awareness in MTTs is a direct result of reading Hoy's blog. Would love to have final tabled this thing just for the screenshot Hoy, but ya know how it is with these things...get your money in ahead and hope for the best.
While I am registering my list of usual shoutouts, I can't forget Wes. The package arrived today. That was seriously cool of you. Danke. From it I learned that you don't live in Vale, Colorado but in Vale, South Dakota. Now I gotta admit, that makes me less inclined to show up on your doorstep, but that may be the whole point too. I also like the fact you went to the trouble of renting a PO Box just so you could send me something without giving me your home address. Crafty. But I'm still coming for dinner next week. I'm currently in the mood for Thai, so maybe you can go with that?
And lastly, since this will save me an e-mail. Eric, I got your letter, and have mulled it over to profit already with AK. Rooster, your advice with AK has also been helping plug the holes in my head. And Jules, darlin - stubborn SOB that I am, I fired up 100NL yet again today - 2 sessions, 3 1/2 hours. +17 bucks. Amusingly (and most of you should feel free to take this word and insert it into your personal vocabulary right where you are currently housing 'Ironically'), as I finished my second session, FT finally gave me more bonus money! Who says ya can't fight City Hall? Or achieve mediocrity as a cash game player, while multi-tabling two MTTs. Oh yeah, I blew chunks at the Mookie. My bad. Next time, only one table a blogger tourney. Need to focus!
Still readin? Alright, I'll wrap it quickly.
Things that stuck out:
I got to 11/1037 without ever having a rush of good cards. Moreso than ever before I stole almost every pot I won, and avoided flops like they were old girlfriends I no longer needed for Calculus tutoring. I believe you now Hoy. It can be done. It just takes the right opponents and a willingness to run the risks.
Way late in the game I dropped a Hammer (suited) but got called by the short stack and forced to sacrifice a total of 5k. Consider it a steal attmept gone awry. Actually the flop was a gorgeous 752, but he sucked out! and caught a K on the turn to set his kings. Totallly fucked my table image I think, but as Rav rightly pointed out, "No one gives a shit about table image right now. Blinds are too high. They're all playing their cards not each other." He was right of course. I think I just like saying the phrase Table Image. Sounds cool, no?
Yeah it is like 4am my time, how did you know?
Best laydown of my short MTT career? 3x from EP with JJ. Get reraised 3X by a guy whose been tightish in my brief time at the new table. Late midgame, and I am 5th in chips but he has a deep stack too. Hard to definitively put him on AA KK QQ, but that's where I end up. I drop those boys, and he shows his kings. May not seem like much, but that hand was one of those that had the potential for disaster, with me leading into him until he pushed back, and I call off my stack thinking, "hey only 3 hands really hurt me". Making that read actually inspired me for hours after. It's baby steps...baby steps...
OK. that's enough. I am disappointed, but mostly happy. I feel like progress is being made. and that is a beautiful thing. Next on list: cash game improvement.
Laytah
P.S. good luck Ryan. I stop by everyday and try to post on your site, but no joy. so let me just say it here - Wow. GL and Godspeed.
Who won this hand?
Answer:It took me 45 seconds to figure out why these chips were not heading towards me and, with just 11 people left, guaranteeing my final table appearance in the FTP 20k!
45 seconds. In all seriousness, I have made life and death calls in less time than that. So what occurred in the hallowed vault that is my cranium while an Edomite Hell was being wrought?
After careful recollection, I believe my thoughts read as something close to the following:
Yeah! FUCK Yeah! Fucking great push! You mothafuckin' biotch! Knew that pre-flop raise was shit! KNEW my Ace was gonna bend you over the table and give you a buttermilk enema! Gimme my chips you whore-monger! That's right biotch, get 'em up 'n ovah heyah! Huh? What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!? There's been a computah error! It thinks that mothafuckah made a flush! HE ONLY HAS ONE FUCKING HEART YOU GODDAMNED STUPID FUCKING POKER MACHINE!!!!! TRIP ACES BEAT K high!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Then Rav calmly explained, that yeah, I had to push with my miniscule M, and yeah I looked good preflop, was obscenely ahead PostFlop, and German Snuff Film obscenely ahead post Turn. But post-rivah - we were left with undeniable if ugly fact that a straight still beats three bullets.
Online poker is rigged. Just slightly less so than live. At least that's what D and JJ tell me.
Whatevah.
This is actually a good news post. I finished 11th out of 1037 playah's in the 20k. For the second night in a row, I built a big stack without a single suckout. And for the second night in a row, it took someone getting very fortunate to do me in. I realize now that's likely to be the case because my style is loose to the flop, but I only commit my stack if I am goddamned sure I have a lock. [Blogger tourneys exempted from this highly self-serving assessment.] Rav's Ace and Tracker assessments had me laughing out loud at what a nut I must look like to the table, but I'm loathe to change much with things running so well right now. Laytah, definitely.
I do have to acknowledge Raveen's absolutely critical role in this push. Our boy is a bona fide stone cold cash game killah, and he sweated me in the girly chat. He actually loaded yahooIM specifically so he could hang with the bloggers after the Mookie, and play cash games with D, Waffles, JJ and the gang. If you for some reason frequent this site, but don't read Rav, can I do you a favor and insist you pick his over here any day. Rav is the real deal. One hand in particular I would have played very differently and probably lost, but had the brains to trust his great advice. Midgame, I tried to steal but got called to a flop out of position against a mid size stack. I found a match for my weak 6, but also an over card. I bet 3/4 and was quickly called. A K hit the turn and he checked, so I followed suit. We reach the river blank and he checks. I have been playing with this guy a while and put him on a weak jack or 77-TT. I am cooked. I am contemplating trying to push him off with maybe a half pot river bet, when Rav types: Put this guy all-in. Do it. He will fold.
I dunno why, but when he wrote it, I recognized he was absolutely right. In truth, I had briefly considered it and rejected it as suicidal. I have weak 6's, I want this hand over. But Rav's take was, you're weak but so is he. This is winnable. Without discussion I shoved 30k of hard fucking work into the middle. Rav noted calmly: nh...it's over.
My opponent mulled briefly then typed in the chat: okay...this one time. And a hand I had no business taking to war won me a pot and a shitload of table respect. For those of you who don't know Rav, he plays at limits most of us won't get to. So having him in my corner (and he stayed till the bitter end, helping me with pot odds and M) was a major advantage. Thanks, brotha. Still hoping to see ya in Vegas next week, so don't disappoint!
On that note, Don, Waffles, Kat and Slb have been real friends and hung with me on several of these late nighters. I do appreciate it. In fact, God bless you. And I mean that in a completely non-denominational way which may or may not refer to a single ominscient sexless deity looking over all (or just a few) of us. And Thanks. It was also very cool to see the HammerPlayer stop by, because as I may have mentioned, most of my interest and large chunks of my situational awareness in MTTs is a direct result of reading Hoy's blog. Would love to have final tabled this thing just for the screenshot Hoy, but ya know how it is with these things...get your money in ahead and hope for the best.
While I am registering my list of usual shoutouts, I can't forget Wes. The package arrived today. That was seriously cool of you. Danke. From it I learned that you don't live in Vale, Colorado but in Vale, South Dakota. Now I gotta admit, that makes me less inclined to show up on your doorstep, but that may be the whole point too. I also like the fact you went to the trouble of renting a PO Box just so you could send me something without giving me your home address. Crafty. But I'm still coming for dinner next week. I'm currently in the mood for Thai, so maybe you can go with that?
And lastly, since this will save me an e-mail. Eric, I got your letter, and have mulled it over to profit already with AK. Rooster, your advice with AK has also been helping plug the holes in my head. And Jules, darlin - stubborn SOB that I am, I fired up 100NL yet again today - 2 sessions, 3 1/2 hours. +17 bucks. Amusingly (and most of you should feel free to take this word and insert it into your personal vocabulary right where you are currently housing 'Ironically'), as I finished my second session, FT finally gave me more bonus money! Who says ya can't fight City Hall? Or achieve mediocrity as a cash game player, while multi-tabling two MTTs. Oh yeah, I blew chunks at the Mookie. My bad. Next time, only one table a blogger tourney. Need to focus!
Still readin? Alright, I'll wrap it quickly.
Things that stuck out:
I got to 11/1037 without ever having a rush of good cards. Moreso than ever before I stole almost every pot I won, and avoided flops like they were old girlfriends I no longer needed for Calculus tutoring. I believe you now Hoy. It can be done. It just takes the right opponents and a willingness to run the risks.
Way late in the game I dropped a Hammer (suited) but got called by the short stack and forced to sacrifice a total of 5k. Consider it a steal attmept gone awry. Actually the flop was a gorgeous 752, but he sucked out! and caught a K on the turn to set his kings. Totallly fucked my table image I think, but as Rav rightly pointed out, "No one gives a shit about table image right now. Blinds are too high. They're all playing their cards not each other." He was right of course. I think I just like saying the phrase Table Image. Sounds cool, no?
Yeah it is like 4am my time, how did you know?
Best laydown of my short MTT career? 3x from EP with JJ. Get reraised 3X by a guy whose been tightish in my brief time at the new table. Late midgame, and I am 5th in chips but he has a deep stack too. Hard to definitively put him on AA KK QQ, but that's where I end up. I drop those boys, and he shows his kings. May not seem like much, but that hand was one of those that had the potential for disaster, with me leading into him until he pushed back, and I call off my stack thinking, "hey only 3 hands really hurt me". Making that read actually inspired me for hours after. It's baby steps...baby steps...
OK. that's enough. I am disappointed, but mostly happy. I feel like progress is being made. and that is a beautiful thing. Next on list: cash game improvement.
Laytah
P.S. good luck Ryan. I stop by everyday and try to post on your site, but no joy. so let me just say it here - Wow. GL and Godspeed.
posted by Iakaris aka I.A.K. at 2:48 AM
19 Comments:
Darling, I'm starting to feel a wee bit like something out of an Oscar Wilde novel when dealing with you.
Decadent pleasures (also known as bonus whoring) aside, I'm going to ask you to starting considering your poker with the same single minded clarity with which you attacked your chosen profession. SPECIALIZE. In something reasonable (unfortunately MTTs don't come with the comfy hours and vacation of your day job, but they also aren't burning down every five minutes).
But I digress.
Put. Down. The. Mouse. Move away from the cash table and nobody will get hurt.
I have to laugh 'cuz of the countless times the computer monitor was on the verge of sailing across the room after seeing MY chips magically slide across the table away from me and I'm thinkin' no way did he win that hand... oy...
HaHa...jules make funny and I laugh.
Tough river in the 20k there sir.
And for the record, you finished 29th in the Mookie last night and I finished 28th.
WE ROCK!
I came a callin' "yo iak!" at your table, but you never answered. In order to not sound ghey, I will note I did not cry.
My pleasure Ick. Gotta get in one of these again soon with ya, as I've run fairly well a few times only to get crippled at a crucial time. i.e. My infamous 200K guar experience. See you there, and you'll take one of these down soon.
Great job in the 20K, although a brutal way to go. You are killing these FT tourneys though.
Thanks for making it out to The Mookie last night.
Brutal beat, yo. Seriously, until that river card, you were rockin' the cock.
Also, I will find your nomadic ass and beat you down if you don't get me signed up on the girlie chat.
Sincerely,
BP
congrads again man...i did a double take as well when that 10 hit the river and was confused why u didnt win the pot....until i realize THAT DONKEY RIVER YOU....oh well there is always another tourney....thanks for pimpage but just remember you got there i just railed you....gl at the tables
Medical Term of the day...."buttermilk enema".
Thought of the day...
Thai food in South Dakota...."I don't think so". And if you find it, I ain't joining you. Refer back to medical term of the day, defined as...after effects of eating Thai food in S. Dakota.
Poker though of the day...
"pushing with Ace Six is"..._____{insert own adjective}
Jules: lol...okay, okay...
Maudie: Welcome! yeah...that shot summed up the whole 4 hours. D'oh!
Trip: You my BOO! Dontchoo evah doubt it brotha! I was multi-tabling Mookie, 20k and a 1/2 cash game(!) = Moron. No dropped shoutouts next time. I suh-wear.
slb & Mookie: tx brothas...gotta focus bettah on the brogger stuff...gettin away from who brung me to the dance...bad form!
P: I'll yahoo you tahday. Promiso.
Rav: pimpage well deserved...and likely unnecessary, but mah pleasure
Eric: Good tah have ya back. In order, then:
1. buttermilk was an inspired choice, no?
2. I'll tell Wes to set another place.
3. Absolutely A MUST. Look at those. Now look at the pot size. I almost had an orgasm when I found A6o. But yeah...agreed in principal, she ain't exactly a Group 1.
Yeah Iak, incredible run you're on with the mtts. Congratulations! I remember when I used to be able to consistently do well in those!
And yes you are so correct, you really don't need any good cards to make a deep mtt run, plain and simple. Good cards help fo shizzle, but you don't need them. At all.
And, a fabulous laydown of the Jacks. One thing I've written about before is that, once you're getting down near the good payout spots in these large mtt events, and in particular when you have a large chipstack worthy of protecting, there comes a time when you should be laying down the JJ if you're fairly sure you're behind heading into the flop and you're facing a big bet to see one. I can't count how many times I've laid down a hand like 99 or TT to a preflop reraise, or even on a fairly raggy flop like J42 rainbow when my opponent has bet out at me. Sometimes it's just not worth taking a chance losing your monster stack on a hand when you're really not sure where you're at, and you have a ton of chips already and don't really need to make a stand just then.
Anyways, great work man. I can't wait till you start winning these biatches on a nightly basis.
Again, nice run bro.
Your game is on firah, keep gettin' while the gettins' good.
Did you sign that contract yet for Buffalo? Lots of good private schools in Vegas plus I here there is a big need for radiologists so your wife can still doctor while you work on achieving rock start status on the felt.
Look at you knifing through the big tournaments. Freakin' incredible. As good a run as I've seen. Sounds like your game is smokin'.
"Buttermilk enema" I just snorted beer out my nose! Fugly beat man, but nice job getting that far. Wish I'd have realized you were playing, I'd have come by to rail also. Oh well. I'm sure you'll be pulling this shit again, looking for an opportunity to bend them over like sweet, sweet Mel! Con-fucking-gratulations!
Your gonna be here in a few days!!!!
"buttermilk enema" and "that shot summed up the whole 4 hours." Only you can says those, because your a doctor and I'm sure it's rooted in something medical. Just one perv's opinion.
Nice job on the big MTTs, you've shot up to Hoy status, minus the screen shots. With a picture worth a thousand words, his posts are still shorter than yours, but I really enjoy them both.
this iz the funniest shit i've read in a while:
"Yeah! FUCK Yeah! Fucking great push! You mothafuckin' biotch! Knew that pre-flop raise was shit! KNEW my Ace was gonna bend you over the table and give you a buttermilk enema! Gimme my chips you whore-monger! That's right biotch, get 'em up 'n ovah heyah! Huh? What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?!? There's been a computah error! It thinks that mothafuckah made a flush! HE ONLY HAS ONE FUCKING HEART YOU GODDAMNED STUPID FUCKING POKER MACHINE!!!!! TRIP ACES BEAT K high!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!"
nice job in the 20k.
Tough one when someone hits a 3 outer in a huge pot. 11th is nothing to be sorry about though. You will hit the big one soon, your on a nice roll.
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